baby #2

...... :)

Okay, so NO! I'm not pregnant! Not even close. I thought I might try to throw my friends for a loop, but I couldn't lie.

Anyhow, I've been dabbling with the idea of trying for another baby. I'm not satisfied with ours and want a newer model! JUST KIDDING. Oh my goodness, if you knew the extent of pure love and joy I have for Natalie, you'd be scared! I try to downplay my love in polite company, but I would move heaven and earth for her.

My grandma asked me when I would be expanding our family. Coming from the mouth of someone who carried nine babies, you would expect this. She spent most of her 20s pregnant! At first I wanted to wait a while, you know, until Natalie was walking or at least potty-trained. Well, here we are... at the "just about walking" stage. She's pulling up and standing. She's in size 4 diapers and she's my absolute world. Could I love another one as much as I love her? How?! Does your heart grow? Anyhow, just throwing it out there... being HUGE pregnant in the spring works well with me, so maybe we'll start trying again this summer?! AHH!

Happy greetings!

Wow, has it been a while or what? The last time I logged into blogger was September 12th, and it's now November 5th, so yeah...

Being a working mom means staying a busy mom! I promise to try to update more often when (if) things start to slow down. The Christmas season is upon us, and there's a lot to do. I'm juggling 40 hours a week with diapers, bottles, playtime, and meals. I am constantly on the go and barely have time to sit down anymore! I'm hoping my mac will get fixed in the very near future so I can indulge my hobbies of crafting, blogs, listening to Pandora while I clean (oh, those were the days!) and downloading the thousands of pictures I have of Natalie. All of you out in blogland still haven't seen her unless you visit my facebook. And since most of you who read this tiny piece of the web know me in person, you have been spammed with pictures of her since she was inside of my belly! ( I don't feel so guilty about not updating my blog now. *patting myself on the back*)

Well, our Natalie is almost eight months old and sweeter than ever. She's got such a cute personality. She is very reserved and observant, but she has her moments of extreme happiness. She's not crawling yet, and I think she'll walk before she even masters crawling. She's such a happy little girl, and it warms my heart to know she's well-adjusted and experiencing new things every day. I cannot wait to grow our family and have more children, but I adore this sweet time I get with her. She's truly such a blessing, and I could not imagine life any other way. She makes everything so much better!

I have started to like to cook. I know, I know... you're all shocked. I have become more relaxed about our messy house. Our neighbor dropped by the other day unexpectedly, and I didn't go into shock. How nice is that? Natalie, in conjunction with the Zoloft (that's going to be another post entirely, folks), has helped me to let go of SO MANY THINGS.

We are happy, busy, and ragged around the edges. Brandon is working and in school and usually doesn't roll in until 8:00pm. That's when I hand him Natalie and go into busy mode to try to tackle one or two mandatory chores. We are loving our home, and it's starting to feel less lonely and more homey. We have made it ours. Life is sweet.

I have so much more to say, but it will have to wait. Natalie and my mom are meeting me for lunch today! I could not be happier!

Five Month Update ( a bit late, I'd say...)

Natalie,
I blinked and you're no longer a tiny infant. Rather, you're sitting up with barely any help from me and slowly trying to become mobile. It blows my mind to watch you. It seems like each day you're learning a new skill. And that's not just my mommy pride talking. You're really that fast! You keep mommy busy! I love it.

I'm going to touch on things that I will forget if I don't go ahead and mention them here. I can't believe it's almost six months for you and I'm doing this. Blogging is clearly not my top priority anymore. You are, goose! I just want you to know these things if you ever ask when you have your own babies. I guess I thought it would be valuable. You could see how scared I was at the beginning and how crazy in love I am with you. ;)

Mealtime: You are taking your bottle every 3 hours like you have been since around 3 months old. We cannot break you from this habit, even when we give you more milk. I don't know if we stretched your tummy or what, but you demand 6 oz. every three hours except for when you're sleeping. Yesterday, (you're 6 days away from being six months old)we gave you rice cereal for the first time. You were trying to help me with the spoon. You threw little tantrums when the spoon wasn't getting to your mouth quickly enough, and somehow rice cereal was in your eyebrows by the end of mealtime! It was enough to justify a good bath! It's good to know you are not one of those babies who will refuse food. Oh, we've also been giving you frozen peaches in a fresh food feeder because you've been trying to teethe! It's the only thing that soothes you when your gums start to hurt.

Diapers: You are in a size 3. You had your first diaper rash this month. I figured out that there's a lot of acidity in peaches, and your little bottom just wasn't tolerating it. We're good now, though. It only lasted for a couple of diaper changes, and we were back to normal!

Sleeping: You sleep through the night in your crib (in our room) and take two-three small catnaps during the day.

Mobility: You are trying to crawl, but I have suspicions that you might walk before you crawl. When I play walk with you, you don't drop down to the floor like most babies I have seen. You actually don't like to sit. You like to try and stand for as long as you can.

Playtime: I had to get you a few new toys this month because you were getting bored. You outgrew your bouncy chair, so we picked you up a couple of new dollies and a peek-a-boo plane. You are still trying to learn how to make the sounds go off on the plane, but you seem intrigued when I do it. You enjoy playing peek-a-boo with me and hide your face. ;) You smile constantly. You like when Grandmommy chases you around and says she's coming to get you. You LOVE the new walker she bought you and the new bouncy station at Nanny's house. You are too adorable and so fun to observe!


LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

4 month update!

Natalie Grace,
You turned four months old on the 18th of July! Where has the time gone? You are looking less and less like an infant and are quickly on your way to being a little girl. That's how I see it, anyways...

Well, let's see if I can recall all of your stats because you are now on your way to being almost five months old, and Mommy's a little behind!

At your four month checkup, you weighed 15.8 lbs and were 25 inches long! That means you're 2'1"! You were so bright-eyed when we walked into the office, but you grew tired of everything after you were laid down on the scale to be weighed. When we brought you back into the room, you cried (screamed) the entire time. I was so glad that Daddy was with us. Just so you know, he has been to every single one of your doctor visits. What a good Daddy to not leave his girls alone! Unfortunately, you cried throughout the entire visit, even when Dr. Lett came into the room and tried to get you to smile. I lost my hearing while trying to ask her questions and talk over you, and the pacifier was giving you no relief whatsoever. You cried harder after your vaccines and eventually cried yourself out. You were already asleep when we took you back into the car. Afterwards, though, you woke up happy and alert at Cracker Barrel and talked to us the entire time.

Bedtime: You are sleeping through the night most days of the week, but you are kind of teething, so you're waking up more that you normally would. Or you could be in the middle of a growth spurt. We have moved your crib into the room since you have outgrown your incline sleeper, but you usually sleep the last few hours of the night in our bed. You don't like to be swaddled and contained, but you sure love to be nestled close with us! Your favorite thing to do now while sleeping is pull something soft over your eyes and cheeks and drift off. Mommy's too nervous to put you in your nursery. I know it sounds silly, but I like you just where you are. You're my buddy.

Meals: Traditionally, this is the month where we would start you out on solid food, but we are waiting til the six month mark per advice of our doctor. You show an interest in what we're eating, though, and have grabbed the spoon out of my cereal a couple of times. I think you're eager to learn or just eager to put something new in your mouth. Bottles, hands, teethers, and pacifiers can probably get kind of boring. You are now drinking 6 oz of formula every three hours. We are having a hard time spacing out your feedings more than that because you get MAD if you go any longer without a bottle and 5 oz just won't cut it anymore! You watch us like a hawk if you see us with your bottle or mixing your formula. You know what's coming and you cannot contain yourself!

Playtime: You are a wiggle worm. You are now rolling on to your tummy and having the best time grabbing at all of your little stuffed animal friends. You get super excited when we bring out Minnie Mouse. ;) This month we bought you an infant seat to help you with your sitting. I don't know how well you're taking to it yet. You enjoy the outside very much and calm down instantly if you're fussy when we take you outside. Grandmommy(my mom) has a wrap-around porch, and the two of you are always outside or on the swing at her house. She made you belly laugh, but I haven't seen you do it! You've also been on the four wheeler and lawn mower with your Pa (my dad) already. Don't worry, though, it was on the slowest setting. Okay, so you loved it, but Mommy worried. At your Nannie and Grandpoppy's house, you are having fun watching the fishies in their pond. Nannie sings a silly song to you every time you go over there, and you seem to like it.

Clothing/Diapers: You are between 3-9 month old clothing, depending on the brand. You are so long that you have to wear these sizes. I am actually having to shop for you now instead of going through all of your gifted outfits. :) It's fun, but baby clothes are pricey! You're like mama, though, and get your stuff from the clearance rack or on consignment! You are a size 2 in diapers, and I've started buying those at Essex Retail outlet since it's only $20 for a box of 200 or so. In diaper-speak, that's a good deal! I hate to think how expensive diapers will be by the time you have your own babies!
Oh, this month also marks your first "POOPSPLOSION" in public. Let's just say the car was very close quarters as we tried to hurry home to bathe you. You were a stinky girl, and Mommy smelled like it, too! Yuck!
Mommy and Daddy love you more and more each day. You are such a blessing to us, and we can't believe God gave you to us. :)

Turning Point ~Prayer Request

Okay, I am going to pull myself out of the rut here. I have been dwelling in a pit for far too long and need to show my gratitude for a couple of things every now and then instead of focusing on the negative. I tend to get a bit perfectionistic every other week or so and go on a complete self-loathing rampage that assaults my thought life and spills over into my actions. Life is just too short for that. Amen? Amen.

What was the turning point? Well, I was informed last night by my cousin ( an in-home nurse) about a little girl who is only a month older than Natalie who is not doing so well. Her mother's pregnancy was perfectly normal, nothing to be concerned about, but two hours after the baby was born, the little girl began to have violent seizures. Her home was the NICU for almost three months. She is now five months old and has returned to the hospital twice. They refer to it as malignant epilepsy. The family has had to call in hospice. Can you imagine? I asked my cousin the names of the parents, and I think I went to high school with the baby's father. If I did, he was a couple years under me so I didn't really know him. I searched his name on facebook and saw pictures of this precious child hooked up to monitors and LOST IT. I'm tearing up remembering it. My hand flew to the computer screen and I prayed over this baby for a miracle. And then I took inventory of my blessings: the job I don't always love, the husband I rarely thank who still loves me no matter what, the beautiful house that isn't always perfectly clean,the healthy, beautiful, contented baby of ours, cars that run, health insurance, loving friends and family. All of this stuff-- it gets lost in the mix of "if only we had this..." and "if I have to ask you to change the cat litter one more time..." and "WHY AM I SUCH A FATTY MCBUTTERPANTS?"



Really, Jami? Those things I can change.

Some family just had to call in hospice. And I know we can't always be perfect in our practice of gratitude or even fathom what God has done for us, but would it kill us to try and remember once in a while?

Please pray for this family, too, by the way. I know they are seriously hurting. Pray for a miracle. Pray that the seizures would go away. Parents should not have to bury their babies. This little girl belongs in Heaven because she IS an angel, but I pray that her parents can enjoy her for a lifetime. Please pray that they know Jesus. Please give the mother peace. I know the father needs it, too. Deeply. Desperately. A mother's love is different, though. Not more, but different. Nine months of cherishing a baby inside of you. A love that keeps you up all through the night. Please pray. I think their last name is Underwood, but I am unsure.

Thank you.

life life life

First and foremost, I am so glad that I don't actively promote my blog. I know that my blog is public if anyone ever accidentally stumbles on it, but I would hate to think that people tune in here on their reader or remote device just for giggles. Other than my updates on Natalie, this place can be downright depressing! I had aspirations of one day being a crafty mom-blogger, but that phase of life will just have to wait. Besides, I find that there are way too many of those!! It's hard to keep up, and then it's a popularity contest or competition, and I'm just not into that.
Anyhow, what's new our way? Well, we've had quite the week here. On Monday, Brandon and I celebrated five years of wedded bliss (woo!). We didn't really have any plans in mind, so we set about driving into Hendersonville to see if we could find anything to do. There were some shops, but nothing really caught our interest. We went into Barnes and Noble, dreamed about having the money to buy a lot of books, and then drove over to a place called Tilted Kilt for a casual anniversary dinner. When we walked through the door, the hostess was wearing a mini-skirt (plaid) and a baby's shirt. Brandon promptly stammered that Tilted Kilt was not the place for us and we awkwardly excused ourselves. We drove around Hendersonville for a little bit more, going down random roads and checking out the lakefront properties and all the awesome mansions. We had heart attacks at the listing prices and morosely drove back into Lebanon, wondering what in the world there was to do on our anniversary, a national holiday, besides crashing backyard barbeques. We finally settled on getting back on the interstate and driving into Mt. Juliet, unaware of the big fireworks show that was to be put on. When Providence was too busy for both our tastes, we settled on China Buffet. Needless to say, that adequately fits where we are in our lives. The anniversary tradition has gone downhill! We decided to celebrate our anniversary the weekend after next year. :)

On Tuesday/Wednesday Natalie came down with her first cold. I freaked out. I stayed up all night with her and sucked boogers out of her nose; I ran the hot shower in our bathroom and sat on the toilet giving her a bottle and hoping the steam would alleviate her. I squirted saline up her nose and waited for it to do its magic, and at 5:00am, I made a call to my boss telling him that I wouldn't be in until later. I called the pediatrician's office and was told that everything I was doing was right and that I shouldn't probably bring her in unless she had a fever. I dropped her off at my mom's, went to work, got up and went to work the next day and had gotten the same crud she came down with, only more severe!

I went into work both days, but ended up leaving early. I finally got some good medicine yesterday that helped me to sleep off the effects. My mom and mom-in-law were gracious enough to keep Natalie fed, changed, and loved on until I was myself again. It felt like an eternity, and I was sanitizing everything. I didn't want to touch Natalie, so I just looked at her from across the room and missed her. Oh, I also threw up on myself and my car...lovely. :( I now drive the Vomit-mobile. It's cleaned up now and not so bad as it could have been! Thank goodness I was not on the interstate; I would have caused a wreck.

So, now...I think we're back in business!! I still don't feel well, but I am at least well enough to function again. And Natalie is good, stuffy, but good. :)

And the work is never done; I have pee-infested couch cushions on our deck that need a good cleaning in baking soda. Kids, pets...argh... life. But it was good to breathe for a few hours, even if it was a Nyquil-induced coma that saved me from going under!!

.....one of those days, moods, whatever.

New mother neurosis... that's what I have. I figure I'd do a quick update on here just for the sake of updating and filling in the last ten or so minutes of my lunch break. I've been feeling a bit down lately; at first, I called it the "baby blues", but now I'm moving on to something more serious, perhaps a little postpartum depression. It's no fun. Hormones are swinging high and low, and some days I feel like crying no matter what I'm doing! I could be having a GREAT day, but the tears will catch up to me sooner or later. It could very well be my birth control pills, though, so I have officially weaned myself off of them and am going to consult with my doctor to find a new method next week. I don't feel like throwing myself into a wall anymore, but I'm still a bit down and not quite where I would like to be. I've been taking fish oil capsules and need to try working out more. And by more, I mean I need to actually do it.



Natalie is doing well, though. She's being shared between her two grandmothers during the week while I and Brandon are away at work. It's bearable, but there are days where I just miss the crud out of her and want to check in on her every five seconds. She has learned how to roll over, giggle ( got the phone call for that one today), and now she's having a little bit of a runny nose. The runny nose scares me because I am terrified of her getting sick and not knowing what to do, but it's gotta happen sooner or later.

Anyhow, we're alive. Blogging is definitely not my top priority these days, so I just wanted to throw my two cents out into the blogosphere. :) Please pray for me if you're the praying sort.