4 month update!

Natalie Grace,
You turned four months old on the 18th of July! Where has the time gone? You are looking less and less like an infant and are quickly on your way to being a little girl. That's how I see it, anyways...

Well, let's see if I can recall all of your stats because you are now on your way to being almost five months old, and Mommy's a little behind!

At your four month checkup, you weighed 15.8 lbs and were 25 inches long! That means you're 2'1"! You were so bright-eyed when we walked into the office, but you grew tired of everything after you were laid down on the scale to be weighed. When we brought you back into the room, you cried (screamed) the entire time. I was so glad that Daddy was with us. Just so you know, he has been to every single one of your doctor visits. What a good Daddy to not leave his girls alone! Unfortunately, you cried throughout the entire visit, even when Dr. Lett came into the room and tried to get you to smile. I lost my hearing while trying to ask her questions and talk over you, and the pacifier was giving you no relief whatsoever. You cried harder after your vaccines and eventually cried yourself out. You were already asleep when we took you back into the car. Afterwards, though, you woke up happy and alert at Cracker Barrel and talked to us the entire time.

Bedtime: You are sleeping through the night most days of the week, but you are kind of teething, so you're waking up more that you normally would. Or you could be in the middle of a growth spurt. We have moved your crib into the room since you have outgrown your incline sleeper, but you usually sleep the last few hours of the night in our bed. You don't like to be swaddled and contained, but you sure love to be nestled close with us! Your favorite thing to do now while sleeping is pull something soft over your eyes and cheeks and drift off. Mommy's too nervous to put you in your nursery. I know it sounds silly, but I like you just where you are. You're my buddy.

Meals: Traditionally, this is the month where we would start you out on solid food, but we are waiting til the six month mark per advice of our doctor. You show an interest in what we're eating, though, and have grabbed the spoon out of my cereal a couple of times. I think you're eager to learn or just eager to put something new in your mouth. Bottles, hands, teethers, and pacifiers can probably get kind of boring. You are now drinking 6 oz of formula every three hours. We are having a hard time spacing out your feedings more than that because you get MAD if you go any longer without a bottle and 5 oz just won't cut it anymore! You watch us like a hawk if you see us with your bottle or mixing your formula. You know what's coming and you cannot contain yourself!

Playtime: You are a wiggle worm. You are now rolling on to your tummy and having the best time grabbing at all of your little stuffed animal friends. You get super excited when we bring out Minnie Mouse. ;) This month we bought you an infant seat to help you with your sitting. I don't know how well you're taking to it yet. You enjoy the outside very much and calm down instantly if you're fussy when we take you outside. Grandmommy(my mom) has a wrap-around porch, and the two of you are always outside or on the swing at her house. She made you belly laugh, but I haven't seen you do it! You've also been on the four wheeler and lawn mower with your Pa (my dad) already. Don't worry, though, it was on the slowest setting. Okay, so you loved it, but Mommy worried. At your Nannie and Grandpoppy's house, you are having fun watching the fishies in their pond. Nannie sings a silly song to you every time you go over there, and you seem to like it.

Clothing/Diapers: You are between 3-9 month old clothing, depending on the brand. You are so long that you have to wear these sizes. I am actually having to shop for you now instead of going through all of your gifted outfits. :) It's fun, but baby clothes are pricey! You're like mama, though, and get your stuff from the clearance rack or on consignment! You are a size 2 in diapers, and I've started buying those at Essex Retail outlet since it's only $20 for a box of 200 or so. In diaper-speak, that's a good deal! I hate to think how expensive diapers will be by the time you have your own babies!
Oh, this month also marks your first "POOPSPLOSION" in public. Let's just say the car was very close quarters as we tried to hurry home to bathe you. You were a stinky girl, and Mommy smelled like it, too! Yuck!
Mommy and Daddy love you more and more each day. You are such a blessing to us, and we can't believe God gave you to us. :)

Turning Point ~Prayer Request

Okay, I am going to pull myself out of the rut here. I have been dwelling in a pit for far too long and need to show my gratitude for a couple of things every now and then instead of focusing on the negative. I tend to get a bit perfectionistic every other week or so and go on a complete self-loathing rampage that assaults my thought life and spills over into my actions. Life is just too short for that. Amen? Amen.

What was the turning point? Well, I was informed last night by my cousin ( an in-home nurse) about a little girl who is only a month older than Natalie who is not doing so well. Her mother's pregnancy was perfectly normal, nothing to be concerned about, but two hours after the baby was born, the little girl began to have violent seizures. Her home was the NICU for almost three months. She is now five months old and has returned to the hospital twice. They refer to it as malignant epilepsy. The family has had to call in hospice. Can you imagine? I asked my cousin the names of the parents, and I think I went to high school with the baby's father. If I did, he was a couple years under me so I didn't really know him. I searched his name on facebook and saw pictures of this precious child hooked up to monitors and LOST IT. I'm tearing up remembering it. My hand flew to the computer screen and I prayed over this baby for a miracle. And then I took inventory of my blessings: the job I don't always love, the husband I rarely thank who still loves me no matter what, the beautiful house that isn't always perfectly clean,the healthy, beautiful, contented baby of ours, cars that run, health insurance, loving friends and family. All of this stuff-- it gets lost in the mix of "if only we had this..." and "if I have to ask you to change the cat litter one more time..." and "WHY AM I SUCH A FATTY MCBUTTERPANTS?"



Really, Jami? Those things I can change.

Some family just had to call in hospice. And I know we can't always be perfect in our practice of gratitude or even fathom what God has done for us, but would it kill us to try and remember once in a while?

Please pray for this family, too, by the way. I know they are seriously hurting. Pray for a miracle. Pray that the seizures would go away. Parents should not have to bury their babies. This little girl belongs in Heaven because she IS an angel, but I pray that her parents can enjoy her for a lifetime. Please pray that they know Jesus. Please give the mother peace. I know the father needs it, too. Deeply. Desperately. A mother's love is different, though. Not more, but different. Nine months of cherishing a baby inside of you. A love that keeps you up all through the night. Please pray. I think their last name is Underwood, but I am unsure.

Thank you.

life life life

First and foremost, I am so glad that I don't actively promote my blog. I know that my blog is public if anyone ever accidentally stumbles on it, but I would hate to think that people tune in here on their reader or remote device just for giggles. Other than my updates on Natalie, this place can be downright depressing! I had aspirations of one day being a crafty mom-blogger, but that phase of life will just have to wait. Besides, I find that there are way too many of those!! It's hard to keep up, and then it's a popularity contest or competition, and I'm just not into that.
Anyhow, what's new our way? Well, we've had quite the week here. On Monday, Brandon and I celebrated five years of wedded bliss (woo!). We didn't really have any plans in mind, so we set about driving into Hendersonville to see if we could find anything to do. There were some shops, but nothing really caught our interest. We went into Barnes and Noble, dreamed about having the money to buy a lot of books, and then drove over to a place called Tilted Kilt for a casual anniversary dinner. When we walked through the door, the hostess was wearing a mini-skirt (plaid) and a baby's shirt. Brandon promptly stammered that Tilted Kilt was not the place for us and we awkwardly excused ourselves. We drove around Hendersonville for a little bit more, going down random roads and checking out the lakefront properties and all the awesome mansions. We had heart attacks at the listing prices and morosely drove back into Lebanon, wondering what in the world there was to do on our anniversary, a national holiday, besides crashing backyard barbeques. We finally settled on getting back on the interstate and driving into Mt. Juliet, unaware of the big fireworks show that was to be put on. When Providence was too busy for both our tastes, we settled on China Buffet. Needless to say, that adequately fits where we are in our lives. The anniversary tradition has gone downhill! We decided to celebrate our anniversary the weekend after next year. :)

On Tuesday/Wednesday Natalie came down with her first cold. I freaked out. I stayed up all night with her and sucked boogers out of her nose; I ran the hot shower in our bathroom and sat on the toilet giving her a bottle and hoping the steam would alleviate her. I squirted saline up her nose and waited for it to do its magic, and at 5:00am, I made a call to my boss telling him that I wouldn't be in until later. I called the pediatrician's office and was told that everything I was doing was right and that I shouldn't probably bring her in unless she had a fever. I dropped her off at my mom's, went to work, got up and went to work the next day and had gotten the same crud she came down with, only more severe!

I went into work both days, but ended up leaving early. I finally got some good medicine yesterday that helped me to sleep off the effects. My mom and mom-in-law were gracious enough to keep Natalie fed, changed, and loved on until I was myself again. It felt like an eternity, and I was sanitizing everything. I didn't want to touch Natalie, so I just looked at her from across the room and missed her. Oh, I also threw up on myself and my car...lovely. :( I now drive the Vomit-mobile. It's cleaned up now and not so bad as it could have been! Thank goodness I was not on the interstate; I would have caused a wreck.

So, now...I think we're back in business!! I still don't feel well, but I am at least well enough to function again. And Natalie is good, stuffy, but good. :)

And the work is never done; I have pee-infested couch cushions on our deck that need a good cleaning in baking soda. Kids, pets...argh... life. But it was good to breathe for a few hours, even if it was a Nyquil-induced coma that saved me from going under!!

.....one of those days, moods, whatever.

New mother neurosis... that's what I have. I figure I'd do a quick update on here just for the sake of updating and filling in the last ten or so minutes of my lunch break. I've been feeling a bit down lately; at first, I called it the "baby blues", but now I'm moving on to something more serious, perhaps a little postpartum depression. It's no fun. Hormones are swinging high and low, and some days I feel like crying no matter what I'm doing! I could be having a GREAT day, but the tears will catch up to me sooner or later. It could very well be my birth control pills, though, so I have officially weaned myself off of them and am going to consult with my doctor to find a new method next week. I don't feel like throwing myself into a wall anymore, but I'm still a bit down and not quite where I would like to be. I've been taking fish oil capsules and need to try working out more. And by more, I mean I need to actually do it.



Natalie is doing well, though. She's being shared between her two grandmothers during the week while I and Brandon are away at work. It's bearable, but there are days where I just miss the crud out of her and want to check in on her every five seconds. She has learned how to roll over, giggle ( got the phone call for that one today), and now she's having a little bit of a runny nose. The runny nose scares me because I am terrified of her getting sick and not knowing what to do, but it's gotta happen sooner or later.

Anyhow, we're alive. Blogging is definitely not my top priority these days, so I just wanted to throw my two cents out into the blogosphere. :) Please pray for me if you're the praying sort.

beautification of the home: yay!

A belated Happy Father's Day to Brandon! He's not in town because he's been in a wedding in Florida this past weekend.

Anyhow, Natalie and I have been staying at my parents' house. Again. What's new? We've been here quite a bit since she was born. It makes it easier, especially since I'm not comfortable staying alone at our house with her at night. I know that our neighborhood's safe and secure, but it makes me feel better to know that someone's right down the hall just in case of an emergency. I'm probably just being neurotic.

Anyhow, with Brandon out of town, I have been pondering on ways to beautify our space and make it more practical for our family. We have a formal dining room that has so far been used as a crowded, messy "library" aka verysmallspacewithtwochairsadeskandthreebookshelvesshovedin. It is very crowded and is pretty much a cat hair paradise. Oh, I forgot. We also have a highchair in there. It's still in its box and one of the cats sleeps on it. Just not feeling it.

I know I am new to the mom game and probably shouldn't be spending my time dreaming up ideas, but this is actually within our budget and something that would bring more organization and SPACE to our home. We are going to get my dad to help us construct some diy built-in bookshelves!! :) There will be one four foot bookshelve on each side of our old desk, which will be re-painted to match the shelves. We will have a little area over the desk to hang a bulletin or dry-erase board so we can keep track of our respective schedules. Brandon will have a work space that won't be on our kitchen table, island, or the coffee table. This will eliminate so much frustration. I cannot stand for piles of junk to build up. I'm always decluttering and moving stuff around, and it's always back the next day or a few days later. Constant battle.

Anyhow, I was just excited and had to share.

First step for us will be clearing out the room and boxing up all of our books. We probably should have left them boxed up from the move in November. With the pregnancy, I couldn't really work on making this house a home. Now I can, and I'm so excited. I am so ready for making our home "ours" a little bit at a time. I cannot wait to have a beautiful view when I walk in our front door instead of looking into the dining room and feeling embarrassed at the clutter!

Three Months Old!!

Natalie,
I cannot believe you are already three months old! These have been the best three months of Mommy's life! You are growing so much and are getting more beautiful with each passing day. No longer a newborn, you are fast on your way to being a big girl. This month your eyes are starting to pop and your lashes are growing so long and dark. You smile more and more and wake up so happy each morning; it makes the transition of me having to go back to work so much easier. Each morning you wake up with a stretch and a smile and coo until you really need your bottle. I had been depending on you to be my alarm clock since you used to have your middle of the night bottle at 2am and another one at 5am, but you have changed your schedule a bit and are going longer and longer without your bottle, five and six hour stretches throughout the night. The other morning I woke up when Daddy's alarm went off around 6:30, and you were down in your sleeper watching the morning news with a big smile on your face. You had not even made a peep!

Stats: You were 12.9 lbs and 24 inches long at your appointment last week! Woohoo! That's already 2 ft. tall! ;) The doctor said you would probably reach my height of 5'6" in maturity or even be 5'7".

Bedtime: We have been putting you to bed around 10:00pm each night. Because Daddy gets home around 8:00pm, we like to have you awake and happy for him. You are fed and bathed and in your PJs (no longer sleepers, but onesies and socks because of the summer) usually by the time he gets home. Some nights I let him feed you because he wants to cuddle. You are always glad to see him when he comes in and really kick your feet when he talks to you. :)

Bathtime: You are starting to enjoy your baths! I am so happy because I would always feel horrible when I saw the uncomfortable look come across your face! Because you are getting messier with age, I like that you enjoy the many baths you are starting to need! You are a spitty girl and are drooling like crazy. If we don't put a bib on you, you are wearing a big drool puddle around your neck!

Feedings:
You have always been an every three hours kind of girl. I get the feeling that you like consistency there. Sometimes we go for four hour stretches, but that's pretty rare. You will rouse out of a deep sleep during the day for your bottle and you are MAD until you get it. It's really the only time you cry unless you get a bellyache from not being about to burp, which, by the way, it's getting harder to burp you. You fuss when the bottle is pulled away from you and aren't content until you have a pacifier in your little mouth to soothe you!

Playtime:
You are now able to hold your head up very well. You have always been good at this, but this month you are GREAT! You enjoy your activity mats and love your bouncy chairs. You aren't so keen on the swing anymore because you get bored. You enjoy tummy time and like to bite on your boppy and suck on your hands when you're in this position. You are starting to roll. It's so funny to lay you on your back because you cock your head in the direction you want to turn and shriek at whatever you see over there. You like talking to the pillows on our bed and have so much to say to them. I wonder what you're thinking! You have a preference for the Minnie Mouse toy that Holli got you. Holli walks our dog Brutus and has brought you sweet gifts from the Disney Store. :) Sometimes Grandma Vicky puts you infront of the tv and lets you watch Handy Manny with all the bright colors on Disney Jr. You go crazy and "talk" to all the kids on that show.

Clothing:
You are in the last of your 0-3 months attire. There are some onesies that still snap between your legs, but they look tight on the shoulders. You are most comfortable in 3-6 month clothes and 6 month clothes from Carters and Target's Circo brand. Today you are actually wearing a 6-9 month onesie that Grandma Vicky bought from a consignment sale. I'm bummed to say that it fits you just fine! I want to tell you to stop growing and stay a baby forever, but I know I can't. :)

Carseat:
You are still in your infant carseat and will probably remain rear-facing for a long time. I have been reading articles and find that it's safer that way for you. I have stopped carrying your carrier into stores because it is so heavy. I think our car seat must be the heaviest one out there. It's heavy even when you're not in it! I will know to go smaller if you have a baby brother or sister one day!

wanting to decorate...

Life is a constant DIY project, at least it is around my house. . . since having a baby, I haven't had the time or energy to salivate over Pottery Barn catalogs or decorating blogs. I'm not sad about it really, but I feel like a small part of me is missing.

Most of my maternity leave, I restricted myself to our upstairs. You see, we bought a new home in November, and it's just not looking the way I want it to yet. The downstairs is a dark, depressing builder beige. I have made what I have work for most of the downstairs, but now I want to put my signature on this house. What I'm using now is what we used in our rental, and we really didn't have the liberty to change things there.

I'm thinking yellow. I'm also thinking we may have to hire painters. Between the both of us, Brandon and I are sloppy painters. I don't have the patience for it, and Brandon drips his paint on baseboards. I want color, but I want color within reason and within our teeny budget.

I don't think I have to tell anyone that babies are expensive creatures. I can put these dreams on hold for a bit longer, but I had to get it out that I miss my little projects.

Oh, other than that. I'm back to work. And it's okay. I didn't die. I thought I would die from not seeing my sweet girl, but I can survive an 8 hour stretch without her. ;)