happy birthday, my sweet... and some rambles!

Happy Birthday to my sweet, wonderful, one-of-a-kind, totally amazing husband!! It seems like a lifetime ago that he came into my life, but I can't imagine life without him. The measure of joy and comfort that he's brought me is like nothing else that I know, and I am so happy and content in our marriage. We have our ups and downs like every married couple, but I can honestly say that I love him today more than I ever have, and the love only keeps growing. He's going to be an awesome father, and I can't wait to see our little girl melt his heart into one big sloppy puddle of daddy-love. I cannot wait to grow our little family and make this new house a home!

side note: I hope she looks like him! I don't have any baby pictures of Brandon floating around the internet, but you have to believe me when I say he was purely adorable. Curls, chub, drool. :)


I really wanted to do something cool for his birthday this year, but we have a lot of money going out right now and not as much coming in as we'd like. Between the mortgage, bills, Brandon's school, and baby expenses, money's a little tight. I'm also not going to be paid for about four weeks of my maternity leave, so... yeah. I cancelled my long-abandoned YMCA membership last week and enrolled for the corporate discount at Verizon, so that saves us a few pennies. I've also committed to making meals at home. I have to say that one's hard right now. Being huge and pregnant, I'm not really excited to prepare food, but it is what it is. :) I have to start thinking about meals to make ahead and freeze. Daunting thought.

I think we're going to buy him a painting when we have some disposable income, but we're both kind of over celebrating our birthdays when we have a little one coming so soon! I'm probably going to forget my birthday due to being so distracted! I'll have the best birthday present of all coming at the end of March, though. (Maybe sooner. I can only hope.)

There are some things, though, that I would LIKE to have after the baby comes and before I return to the land of the living. It's funny to think that these things might be considered "luxuries" now, but it doesn't feel like so much of a sacrifice in exchange for a baby. These aren't mandatory, but I would like them just the same!

1. An eyebrow wax. LOL. Regular eyebrow waxes. At $8-10 a pop, I usually don't get them done anymore. It's been, sadly, about five months... and I sometimes resemble Bert and Ernie, but I would like to make some room for getting them done routinely again.

2. Salon hair cut. I traded out trips to the salon when Brandon and I got married for trips to Fantastic Sams and Great Clips. It's hard to imagine that I ever spent close to $100 on getting my hair done every six weeks or so. I don't want a real cut because Brandon wants me to grow my hair out, but I would like some idea of a style. Something to make me feel better, more human. I don't have to be a bombshell, but I would like to feel human!

3. New clothes. I am so sick of maternity clothes that it's unreal. I walked around Old Navy for about twenty minutes today looking at all of the cute Spring-y outfits. I so wanted to take my pregnant belly and chuck it across the room. Spring and summer clothes are so adorable and bright. I cannot wait to get back into regular sizes again! I don't even care if I'm shopping off of the deep clearance rack. I would just like some regularity!!

4. A sewing macine. Haha. I just want to craft like nobody's business.

Well, I am going to go upstairs for my nightly soak in the tub. It's the only way I can get through the painful early labor contractions that I've been having. I cannot help but hope the contractions mean something! Let's pray for some progress at tomorrow's doctor appointment! I would be on cloud nine if my doctor told me that I was dilated to 4 or 5 and that we'd get the show on the road in a couple of days! I know that's not the norm for first time moms, but I cannot wait to have some energy.

Contraction Dissatisfaction...

So, I am having contractions 20-30 minutes apart, and they huuuuuurt. I have been trying to get some things done around the house today, catching up on laundry and minor surface cleaning for just in case.

Anyhow, I'm thinking that I'm in slow, latent labor and will probably have a little bit to show for it at my next doctor's appointment on Wednesday. Or... it could just be false labor or regular discomfort. Anyhow, it's not fun!

I have been drinking water like crazy to stay hydrated so that they will go away if they're not the real thing, but so far-- I'm staying steady at 20-30 minute intervals.

My doctor told me not to call or come to the hospital unless my contractions were 5 minutes apart and growing in intensity, so I'm in a pickle. I'm hurting enough to try and drive to the hospital, but I don't want to waste a trip to L&D only to be told to go home and man up.

Besides, I'm not even 100% what a real contraction would feel like. Not to be all gross and TMI-like with you guys, but I feel the way I felt when I was miscarrying, this low awful intense pressure that hurt my back and hips. ANYHOW, I guess I'll update if I have any more progress to share. The good thing is that I will be full-term on Wednesday... :)

I am going to start cooking. There, I said it.

I'm having to hold myself back from the sudden burst of activity that I feel is going to overwhelm me. I think the nesting bug hath bit! Instead of cleaning, though, I want to buy out the craft store and create things. I want to spray paint every random piece of junk taking up space in my basement; I suddenly want to spring out the cash for a sewing machine and go to town. Realistically, though, I can't be thinking about all of these things when I'm a month away from my due date. While it would be nice to start a new hobby, I feel sad when I think of it going to waste once baby makes an appearance. So, as much as I hate the thought of it, I think I'm going to try cooking as a hobby (again).


I'm not much of a cook. In fact, I hate it. I love to eat and I love the smell of food and the idea of keeping a pantry stocked and fresh fruits and veggies on hand, but I am the worst about keeping myself interested or on a schedule or even remotely organized about the food I prepare. I stress myself out when I make a mess in the kitchen, so ingredients sit dormant while I stop cooking for a week or two at a time... and yeah, I'm pathetic. I waste so much money at the grocery store. I'm a little too ambitious when I go shopping. My potatoes bloom in my pantry. I want to get better!

Let me clarify, though. I am not a bad cook. When I set my mind to making something, it usually turns out well. If not well, edible. It's not that I burn everything I touch or undercook meat or completely ruin things. It's just that I don't stay on top of it. My problem is probably treating cooking like a hobby instead of a necessity. I get bored with my many hobbies. I transfer them to the backburner and forget about them for months. Brandon asked me the other day about the cricut machine that I was just dying to have last year. It's a year old, and I've used it all of two times. Embarrassing. I hate to say that I'm hanging on to it for when I get bit by the bug again, but the sad thing is, I probably won't...and it'll go down in value and be in a yard sale in ten years. And there will be so many updated, wonderful models of the cricut by that point that I will maybe get a dollar for it. Or,the entire thing will be completely obsolete and just an expensive trend of the past.

So, last night, after Brandon underbaked the baked sweet potatoes and I slyly moved the food around my plate in an attempt to pretend it was delish, he asked if I would start cooking again. . . and I felt sorry for him/wanted to make him the best dinner ever. He was raised by a woman who loves to cook and approaches her meals like fine art, and then he married me, the girl who is way more than content to sit back and let her microwave amd Stouffers do the work. If I were single, I swear I'd live on Lean Cuisines and sandwiches. (I'm married, and half the time-- I do live on those things. He pretends not to mind, but I know he does.)

So, I googled recipes for an hour-- all in the name of love. And I went to Pioneer Woman's fabulous site and scrolled through her food blog. I suddenly felt empowered and ready to go grocery shopping. I decided then and there that my man would not starve. I love him more than I hate cooking.

So, I am going to attempt to dabble in the art of cooking again and meal freezing. It'll be up in the air once Natalie makes an appearance, but I will try for this precious time between now and then.

Tomorrow's dinner will go to the tune of chicken and dumplings...I'm a little bit scared, but we shall see. . . and hopefully he won't gag!

35 weeks, 5 to go!

I only want to tune in to say that I am over 200 lbs ( by one lb) and in a miserable whale-like state of mind. I knew I would change for pregnancy, and it doesn't bother me so much now that there's absolutely nothing I can do about it except stabilize or get bigger. I can rest in the knowledge that I am not stuffing my face at every free moment or being needlessly lazy, but this body is not the one I envisioned when I saw the lines on the pee stick. This was my trial run. I will know what to do next time. I won't make the mistake of being thirty lbs overweight and gain more weight on top of that. I will be healthier and wiser. And I will be forced to be physical, running after another child...I cannot wait to reacquaint myself with Weight Watchers and be healthy for my precious little family!

That being said, I am feeling pretty good, all things considered.( I simply have to remind myself not to look at candid pictures and fall into the slump of "You are so repulsive. Why do you leave your house?")

EDIT: I had to stop writing when my lunch break ended, so I am back for more at midnight.

As far as symptoms go, I'm feeling Natalie move now more than ever and can actually identify parts of her body as she turns within me. It's the weirdest thing ever, but I love it. The only downside is that she's in position, head down, ready to go-- that means her little feet get tangled up in my ribs. That's a whole lot of fun.

I'm getting so tired in these last weeks, but I ocasionally have the most random bursts of energy and feel like I can accomplish anything. I like to take advantage of those with them being few and far between, but I have managed to conquer some chores this week that I have been putting off for months. I guess I'm entering into my nesting phase?

For instance, after my doctor's visit on Wednesday, I went to Babies-R-Us to get some price adjustments and make a few returns, came home and rested for about twenty minutes, cleaned my kitchen, did a couple loads of laundry, swept the downstairs, vacuumed the upstairs, AND vacuumed out my nasty car. (That was a long time coming...) I know that doesn't sound like much in the grand scheme of things, but when you're slinging around a belly and out of breath most of the time, it's a big deal. After all of that was said and done, I even tweaked the nursery a bit and started washing some more of her things and putting them away. I'm still waiting on a few finishing details to her room, but I'm mostly done! At that point, I'll probably post pictures.

Her nursery has been a labor of love. It's a teeny room, and it's been an effort to squeeze things in there. The other night I lost a battle to the Diaper Genie, so I haven't been too thrilled about going back in there to see the carnage on the floor in the corner of the room. Lies. You cannot put that thing together in one simple step. It requires a degree in physics. I'm not lying. I'm thinking about throwing it back into the box and hauling it back up to Target to exchange for a simpler model. I spent an hour on it, and I still have no idea how that thing works!

And just for me to look back on, I had my cervix checked ( look away, guys) on Wednesday because I was feeling some pressure. Being a first timer, it's hard to know what things are supposed to feel like. My doctor was able to feel (in her words) "baby's bouncy little head" through the cervix and told me I was about 50% effaced. In case you were wondering, you have to be effaced or thinned out down there before your cervix dilates for a baby to pass through. I'm glad to know I'm making some progress and that the pressure hasn't been just my imagination, but I was hoping that I would have some crazy experience of "Wow! You're half way there! See you in a week!" Not so much. Looks like I will be waiting this one out and that the family scheduled to come down from New Jersey might miss the baby entirely.

I asked about inducement again, but it's still too soon in the game to be making any decisions. My doctor wants to see how my body does on its own before leaping into a voluntary induction since the labors are typically longer and more complicated. While I want everybody to be able to see her, I would rather do Natalie more good and let her bake longer. I want her lungs to be developed and for her suckling reflex to be down pat so I can nurse.

Anyhow, that's just a little update...

One day I'll make a post about my two awesome baby showers. ( I can't believe they've already happened. This is so real.)

Have a good night!

Game Plan!

So help me God, I am going home and cleaning my house tonight. I'm going to swing by Chick-fil-a, grab myself a free chicken nuggets kids meal, (yay coupon), blast some music, and go to town on my downstairs aka disaster zone!!!!
By the time Brandon walks in from class tonight, it will smell like Pine-Sol!

Favorite Things- January (late)

A girl over at one of my favorite blogs, Cleared for Takeoff, is doing a "favorite things" series. I decided to join in because it sounds like fun!

I'm doing this a bit late because it's already February, but I would like to try to do one of these for each month of the year. I always like to hear about what's making people happier or their lives easier, so I thought I'd include some of the things that are getting me through this last stage of pregnancy.

1. Little Dorrit (BBC movie)


Brandon and I watched this movie sometime last year and loved it. Well, he gave it to me for Christmas and we've been working our way through it for the past couple of weeks. Our trouble is that we always start a movie as soon as we get into bed so that we rarely make our way through it. We're nerds and love movies based on classic literature. I feel like it gives us a little bit of intellect as well as entertainment.

2. Learning how to coupon.



There are some girls that I went to high school with that had a coupon class last week. Although I didn't make it to the class, they have still been willing to share their knowledge with me. I look forward to saving money once the baby comes, though I know there will absolutely have to be a learning curve. I've never clipped coupons! When I see the incredible deals they post about, though, I definitely want to change my ways. I'm already an extreme bargain/clearance shopper, so I can see an addiction coming on!

3. McDonald's Iced Vanilla Coffee



I have always loved this stuff, but I am loving it more now that I am slowly incorporating some caffeine back into my diet. I have learned that moderation makes a pregnancy healthy and me happier. With my energy being zapped in these last few weeks, this is always a little pick-me-up. I want to abuse it and have, like, ten a day, but I am getting by on one medium every couple of days.

4. Cocoa Butter.

Although my belly resembles the Great Barrier Reef with all of the stretch marks, this definitely soothes the pain of stretching. I've never had much elasticity in my skin, but this tricks my skin into believing there's elastic. I don't use the frou-frou maternity boutique brand. My Kroger-brand works just fine. Brandon's been taking advantage of it, too, since his skin is so dry in the winter.

5. Pantene Beautiful Lengths shampoo

Because Brandon wants me to grow out my hair (ick), I've been using this shampoo that defends against breakage and encourages hair growth. Pantene has something similar to the locks-of-love program, so I thinking about donating my hair to a good cause once I have it long enough for a while. Brandon hates the idea of me donating it after it's gotten to a point where he deems it long, but I know I'll be bored or infuriated with it by the time it reaches that stage. Anyhow, I like the way this shampoo smells. And, along with the prenatal vitamins, I think this little gem is doing the trick.

So, those are my favorite things for January! Boring, I know, but they're making my life much easier! :)

mortification: a short story & my 33 week ultrasound and pregnancy update

I read somewhere that forgetfulness was an unattractive side effect of pregnancy. That, and impaired judgment and probably blindness. I don't know.

Anyhow, I work at a pretty conservative place. I'm not going to name it here because I figure the majority of my readers know where I work. The dresscode is also reasonably conservative, though not over the top.

This morning, while getting ready for work, I settled upon a thin white sweater, one of the few things that still stretches over the great wide yonder of my belly. ( I refuse to buy any more maternity clothes. I'm already a candidate for What Not to Wear, so let's just make things a little more obnoxious in the last month so that maybe I could realistically make it on the show. Who cares if my shirts don't cover me?! Also, I'm convinced that I'm going to drop 50 lbs once I have this baby. Don't you dare laugh. I'm going to try. Geez, I could write an entire blog filled with rantings of how I feel like the world's frumpiest, dumpiest pregnant lady.)This sweater, like most sweaters, is one that requires wearing a tank top beneath it. Do you know where this is headed?!


So, I walk into my bedroom tonight. At the foot of the bed is the tank top I had intended to put on under my sweater. It's still folded neatly, the only exception being a sleeping cat on top of it. I wore this sweater the entire day without a tank top. In some lights, this sweater looks tissue-thin. I am 7 weeks away from my due date. You do the math. It probably wasn't pretty and was most likely very tacky. I gave strangers an education of the "maternity/nursing bra".

Anyhow, I can see that I am already having some embarrassing mommy moments already...I don't even want to go into the other woes of pregnancy fashion. I have some of the world's ugliest maternity pants. They are too big (which is a plus?) and always slide down! I'm forever pulling them up. I've learned that wearing a belt with maternity pants is pretty much idiotic because you'll nearly pee all over yourself before you get your pants off to go to the bathroom. Brutal honesty.


Now for what makes all of this worth it--

I had my 33 week appointment on Thursday and got to have another ultrasound because doc thought I was measuring a bit big. It could have been Natalie's position, but it looks like she's just going to be a big baby if she stays in until her due date. She's currently estimated to be about 5.5 lbs, which sounds pretty big to me! My doctor spoke of induction the week before she was due, but I kind of want to hold out and see what happens. I'm convinced that I'm going to have her early, but I want to see how my body reacts. Besides, I kind of want the shock of going into labor naturally. I don't mean to be dramatic, but I've always wondered what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night with a contraction, just "knowing" that you're going to have a baby later. That, or having your water break unexpectedly. It's just kind of exciting to me. I'm sure I won't think so in the middle of any such scenario when I'm simultaneously screaming and timing contractions, but it excites me!

But most of all, I cannot wait to meet the sweet little girl who is alive and well inside of me. I cannot wait to kiss her little lips or see her smile for the very first time. I have always heard these magical things about newborns, and I cannot wait to experience it for the first time with my own. It's difficult to fathom loving someone you've never met or reconciling the kicks and wiggles that you feel inside with a grainy ultrasound picture. I die of happiness every time I look at our newest ultrasound pictures. I cannot believe she's mine. She is so beautiful. I know the features are kind of hard to see, but I see us in her. I see the both of us, and I feel incredibly blessed.






That being said, I gotta go. Hubby needs computer!