For Natalie: One Month Old

Well, Natalie, I got a little premature with my timing and thought you were a month old on Friday, but then I realized that only made you four weeks old. You're NOW one month old, and I cannot believe this month has flown by so quickly. It seems like yesterday that I was still waiting to go on maternity leave. I only have eight weeks at home with you, and that makes me sad. I wish I could stay home with you forever! You are so sweet, and I'm afraid I'm going to miss so much once I return to work.

You are approximately 22.5 inches long now and are about 9.5 lbs. This is the weight we thought you were going to be if you came at or after your due date. You are definitely not sleeping through the night. We wake up at least three times in the middle of the night, usually only twice for a bottle. You're showing a little bit of personality now and I have to "nestle down" with you to get you into a deep sleep. Your deep sleep usually lasts as long as you're in my arms, and then you're indignant as soon as your little body hits the pack-and-play surface. This results in one sleepy mama whose arms are always falling asleep. I've fallen into the bad habit of letting you sleep on my chest for a few hours each night. While this isn't a problem now, I hear it might be a problem when you won't sleep for your caregivers without being held. We took the newborn napper off of your pack-and-play with hopes that you would prefer sleeping flat on your back and swaddled. You are slowly outgrowing your swaddle me wraps and get really mad if you can't have your hands. You like to suck on your middle finger (haha) and thumb. I let you sleep with a pacifier because it's going to be much easier to rid you of that than of your fingers! So far, you've not given me a genuine smile. You have fleeting sleep grins and gas grins. Just around the time I get really excited to see a smile on your face, I smell your diaper. ;) I'm hearing true smiles come around 5 weeks, so I am really looking forward to that. I cannot wait to be silly with you and to hear your sweet baby giggle. You get really cheeky around 2:00 in the morning. I can't really explain it, but it's like you turn into a little ham. You bob your head around and play "keep away". You also purse your lips and pant. It almost sounds like you're lamaze-style breathing. I know you're not in distress, so it's funny. You also grunt like a little piglet. The sounds you make in the middle of the night take some getting used to. Sometimes you have happy little squeals, and then there are other times you sound like a little monster. It's cute. I will probably never be in a deep sleep again!

You accidentally cooed for me the other day. When I tried to encourage you to do it again, you started to cry. Too much stimulation! Maybe another time. You like your play mat and your bouncy chair, but you have not shown too much interest in the toys yet. I always have to start you off before you notice them. In the mornings, we have a bit of play time after your first feeding and diaper change. So far, I've read a couple of books to you, sang to you " Good morning to you" (to the tune of "Happy Birthday"), and tried to play with your toys. You are in love with the ceiling fan.

You are wearing 0-3 month size clothing now. You were in newborn attire for only a week, and then you had a growth spurt. You are really tall like your daddy and are in the 95th percentile for height. I didn't catch what percentile your weight was, but you are the ectomorph body type with long piano fingers and long toes. I hear that means you'll have a great metabolism! Good for you! Mama's jealous!

I tried breast feeding you, but my milk had problems coming in due to all the medication I was given when I was induced. We rented a hospital grade pump and you had about an ounce of my milk a day for the first two weeks. I wasn't able to keep up with your demands! We finally just transitioned you completely over to formula. You don't seem to have a problem with it. You're eating about 3-4 ounces of formula every 3-4 hours. We are thankful to have Similac coupons! You are not a great burper. Daddy and I take turns burping you because you sometimes take upwards of ten minutes to give us a good one. Sometimes the good ones turn into explosions.

You are a GREAT cuddlebug, though. We love to cuddle with you! Most of all, we love you!! :)

Separated...or is it seperated? I never know these things...

I have an announcement to make, one I'm not particularly happy with...

My baby's growing up, y'all. She lost her umbilical cord stump at midnight. No more having to fold her diapers over, no more ritualistic cleanings with cotton balls and alcohol. I had gotten so used to the routine. Pull her diaper off. Happy baby. May or may not projectile pee while I'm struggling to put another diaper under her squirmy legs. Wipe her clean, yada yada... fold diaper band over, secure velcro. Reach for the bag of cotton balls and alcohol. Put it to her belly button area. Screams of outrage at how cold it is... more soothing, maybe a pacifier, on goes the onesie, happy baby again. LOL.

No longer! We've put the "stump" in a ziploc bag, just a little bit of proof of how she was once connected to me, how I grew this beautiful child inside of me. Me-- just another bumbling idiot, I nurtured a BABY! And while I always gagged and freaked out looking at the "stump", I kinda miss the extra seconds I spent changing her. It's been two weeks, and even her cry has changed. She's getting bigger. She's got, like, three chins. (Adorable on her, not so much on mama.) She's got this thigh chub that's deliciously squeezable, and she's starting to smile. I don't think it's ALL gassy grins anymore. I think it's the real deal! She's gonna have personality galore. It's so fun to witness.

I. AM. IN. LOVE. WITH. MY. BABY!!!!! I really don't want to go to back to work. I'm hoping Brandon can find a job with great pay and benefits, so the benefits are not dependent on me... I'm hoping and praying for a miracle because when I look at her face, I cannot bear to leave her. I don't mind working part-time, but full-time seems like torture. I'm already compiling a list of rules for her caregivers. They're mostly about when she sleeps because I'm neurotic about sids. Back to sleep, and I want her sleeping area to be in the same room that they're in. I don't really care if it inconveniences anyone. If you want to keep her, you have to play by mama's rules. I kind of don't want to compromise on those things. She's my child. I'm the one who carried her for nine months. I do think I have a say. Anyhow, whew... I get all nervous and bothered about these things. I guess I'm just concerned that my preferred methods won't be adhered to. Going back to work already boggles my mind; I want things to be easy. I don't want to have to worry, you know?

a-z about meeeeee

I promise that mommyhood doesn't translate to me sitting on the computer all day. My little girl is fast asleep, and I'm bored. I don't have any chores taking me away from this, and sometimes blog-therapy is much better than a nap. Besides, I need to get used to not lounging around all day...so, this is a fun thingie I ripped from Katie's blog!

A. Age: 26 on Wednesday-- WHAT? Come again? This year went by way too quickly. 26 sounds so close to thirty. I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up!

B. Bed size: Queen. That translates to "way too small". Hopefully, by the next time I'm pregnant, we will have graduated up to a king. Brandon likes to drape himself across the entire bed, and I'm not much better!


C. Chore you dislike: Probably cleaning the shower or bathtub. Until I found the magic eraser, I kind of depended on our shower curtain to hide all of that junk. Don't get me wrong. I "disinfected" things, but I was never one to go all out ninja on the soap scum!

D. Dogs: Brutus, a collie/St. Bernard mix. aka real pain in the tookus!


E. Essential start to your day: The wailing of a newborn? Does that count?

F. Favorite color: Pink, peach, green?


G. Gold or silver: Silver and white gold. Yellow gold freaks me out.

H. Height: 5′ 6"


I. Instruments you play(ed): I had voice lessons for six years and wanted to be a singer, but I cannot read music that well, so an actual instrument is out of the question for me.


J. Job title: Mommy, wife, visual merchandiser/manager.


K. Kids: Natalie Grace, two weeks today!

L. Live for ______: CHOCOLATE. Just kidding. God ( I guess that's the default that people put for #1, though I SUCK at making Him number one.), Brandon, Natalie


M. Most embarrassing moment: I've had several. Thankfully, I'm not too embarrassed by things anymore. I think the one that takes the cake is the time I had a crush on a high school senior when I was a h.s. freshman and made him this huge "I'll Miss You!" poster and then hand delivered it to him on his graduation day and gave him a big kiss on the cheek and pretty much terrorized him while my mom was snapping pictures in the background. I wasn't embarrassed until I saw the pictures later and saw the look of extreme terror on his face, and then I just felt pathetic. It was mostly shame, not embarrassment. We're facebook friends now, but he's probably still terrified by that memory! LOL!

N. Nicknames: Bab (what Brandon calls me--don't ask)


O. Overnight hospital stays: Only time I've been overnight was when I was a preemie newborn and then when I had Natalie.


P. Pet peeves: When Brandon sits next to me and eats something like cereal or something he has to gulp. So loud. I usually say "shhh" and act like a real jerk until he goes in the next room. Oh, also...when someone's trying to have a conversation with you while you're on the phone. My mom is notorious for starting conversations as soon as I get on the phone or start talking to someone. Like, two weeks or so ago, I ran into an old friend from high school in a store, and my mom kept coming up to me and trying to talk. She didn't get the hint from the "just one second" finger.


Q. Quote from a movie: I don't really have a favorite quote...


S. Siblings: sister, Heather, thirty.


T. Time you wake up: Whatever time the infant screams.


U. University attended: I went to two different schools and am doing nothing with what I studied! Then again, I couldn't even make up my mind while I was there. I admire people who have goals and stick with them. Mine change all the time, and I am never certain what I want to be when I grow up.


V. Vegetables: Cucumbers and tomatoes are great.


W. What makes you run late: My disorganization. I've got to get better with a baby. I'll probably have to start waking up at 4am to be at work at 8am when I'm done with my maternity leave.


X. X-rays you’ve had: 3 or 4? All of this from a girl who's never broken a bone...


Y. Yummy food you make: I make some good spinach artichoke dip. Other than that, I'm not too much of a queen in the kitchen.


Z. Zoo animal favorites: I like the elephants.