Love for my kids... love for all the kids...

I never knew how much I would possibly change when I became a mom. Looking through pictures of my sweet Natalie brings tears to my eyes, and I'm thankful for every moment I've had with her. She brings so much undeniable joy, sometimes my heart begins to hurt with heavy love for her!

As I carry a new child within me, I wonder on all the ways I will grow as a mom, and I pray continually for the health and happiness of my children. There are so many sad stories circulating around, tales of death and loss and sickness and  grieving parents, and my heart stings and burns each time I hear a new story. I cannot fathom that sort of pain, nor do I ever want to. 

My husband thinks I google these things just to carry around fear in my heart, but I read these things on my facebook, hear them on the news. And each time I say a prayer for comfort, for healing, for Jesus to come soon. Parents shouldn't have to bury their babies. Babies and children should not get sick with cancer or be born with holes in their hearts. Babies should not be left in car seats and forgotten. Mommies shouldn't hold their lifeless babies in their arms after normal pregnancies. And babies shouldn't die in their cribs. They should not be struck by a vehicle in their own driveway. Children should not go missing and be found later, tortured, raped, killed.  This is the stuff that burns me up and leaves me breathless. WHY?

God, I ask for protection for my children. Both of them who are living. You have one with you in heaven, a baby I never knew, a child that I'm hoping I will one day meet and know. I ask for love and comfort to rain down on the mommies and daddies who are mourning the loss of their precious babies. The desire of my heart is for no harm to come to my children. I don't want harm to come to anyone else's child either. I crave a world where all of that is passed away, where we don't have to worry anymore, and a thank you so much for the blessing of children.

Natalie makes me laugh. So much. She is a little spitfire. She's rough and tumble, messy, and loud. She sings "Twinkle, Twinkle" at the top of her lungs. She's clumsy (bless her) and rambunctious and full of energy and life. She is obsessed with her tiger stickers and constantly slaps away pretend spiders "Spy toes!" She drags pillows around like they're blankets and calls her pacifier a "looler". She gives hard hugs. She won't let me get in her nose to get boogers. World War 3 always ensues over the boogers. :) Each morning, when she wakes up, I get the run down of her massive vocabulary. Sometimes when I'm having a hard time sleeping, I think of all the words, numbers, and colors she knows already. I'm amazed. I am so blessed and thankful, and I do not take my sweet child for granted. God knew exactly what we needed when He gave us our beautiful girl. ;)

Pregnancy Update: Week 14

I think my last pregnancy related update was thinking that maybe there were two babies inside of me instead of just one? Anyhow, we got that figured out. One baby. One ornery, nauseating baby. I don't mean to say that about the *baby*, just the pregnancy.

This pregnancy has been exhausting. I basically had it made my first pregnancy because, although I was sick and tired a lot of the time, I didn't have a little one to tend to. You can't lay around all day when you're chasing, entertaining, and cleaning up after a very busy and energetic toddler.

Symptoms:

Well, I am officially out of the first trimester, so I'm hoping some of the dreaded symptoms will finally take their leave. I think I have been nauseated since week four of this pregnancy. I begged for Zofran (an anti-nausea medication) at my eight week visit, saw some improvement, and then didn't like the breakthrough effects. When it worked, it worked just fine to keep nausea at bay. When it didn't work, it reaaallly didn't work, and all that nausea it had prevented to a certain point came crashing down on me in all its glory. Not fun. Hugging a toilet all day while your little girl is running circles around you is not fun.

No weight gain. Praise the heavens! I would suspect that it's due to the nausea and such. I'm currently thankful for this. I gained too much during my last pregnancy and kept too much on before getting pregnant this time.

Oily skin and hair. Holy puberty batman... it looks like I dumped a container of Crisco on my head and face and then followed that with olive oil.

Dead tiredness. I haz no energy at all.

Smells. My house smells like a dead animal.

Anyhow, we'll be finding out the sex of the baby sometime in October... so until then...Wish me good pregnancy vibes and energetic thoughts!