Things I love and hate about pregnancy...and Christmas!

I hope this post doesn't come across as annoying or full of complaints. I am so ecstatic to be having a baby that I cannot contain myself sometimes, but I am not overjoyed with the state of being "pregnant". I realize that it's something that I have to do in order to eventually hold my sweet Natalie in my arms, but other than that, I am 100% over the feelings that accompany pregnancy, and I still have thirteen weeks to go (if she comes on time and all that).

That being said, I am sure that I will want to have a second and third child. But, let me get through the labor and birth process with this one, k?

Anyhow, let's get the bad out of the way because no one wants to dwell on that, and this is just a mini therapy session of sorts.

1. I cannot STAND gaining weight. I started out this pregnancy at around 20-30 lbs more than I wanted to, and seeing the numbers creeping up on the scale (no matter the greatness of the cause) terrify me.
2. Fat face. You can group this in with gaining weight, but my face is massive. There were some candid pictures of me taken last night while I was opening presents. Lemme just say that I did not like what I saw. And lemme just say I fell into an enormous depression because I'm all self-absorbed and shallow like that. My chins have chins. I refuse to believe the well-meaning people who say I'm "glowing" and that I really "make pregnancy beautiful". Frankly, that's a load of horsecrap, you guys. I look like Cartman. I have been beat with the ugly stick, and there's no turning back! Pregnancy IS beautiful, but it doesn't make me beautiful.
3. Not being able to sleep comfortably. I miss sleeping on my belly or my back, and it's hard to find a balance with a pillow between my legs. Also, our bed feels like it's getting smaller. I want a recliner put into our room so I can actually feel well-rested. I fell asleep twice at my mom's yesterday in their recliner, so I'm assured that is the only way I can get a fabulous sleep.
4. Charlie horses. Every single night. One night I just gave in and started whimpering and screaming until I woke Brandon up so he could ask me what was wrong.
5. My pants keep falling down. Okay, I have never been blessed with a butt. I hate that. I inherited the flat butt of my father, not the voluptuous backside of my mother's family. With the gut expanding, I'm terrified that I'm going to lose my pants one day. And no one wants to see the wonderful expanse of cellulite across my rear. No one. I even cringe.
6. Maternity clothes. Yes, they're cute. And yes, you can have too many of them. I just want to shop at regular places again. I got a ton of maternity clothes for Christmas, and while I need them-- I am not excited about my entire closet being hijacked by them.
7. Makeup not looking the same. I know this sounds weird, but I have discolorations on my face from the pregnancy. It's a hormonal thing that happens to some people. I love makeup, but I have not enjoyed it while pregnant.
8. Swelling feet. Holy cow, cankles. I feel like I have a pillow beneath my right foot. It's that swollen.
9. I break chairs. Yes, that's right. I fell through a kitchen chair at my parents' house on Christmas eve. My parents have an older kitchen table (2o + years). I sat down in the chair that they put on the opposite side of the table where no one usually sits. (It was there because it wasn't sturdy.) When I sat down, I thought it felt funny. . . well, 20 minutes later it gave way, and I was on the floor. Cue my mother's breakdown and questioning every thirty seconds if the baby was moving and my dad hurling the offending chair into the yard. Cue coarse language and a bruise on my butt.
10. I cannot drown out my sorrows in chocolate or diet coke. At least not the way I want to.
11. People keep telling me their own birth horror stories.
12. I HATE MY HAIR. And Brandon won't let me cut it because he looooooves it long. I have no idea why. It looks like a dead animal crawled up there and died.
13. I'm going to only get bigger from here.
14. That whole birthing thing. It's going to come out of WHAT?!
15. I still have to work.

Things I LOVE!
1. Natalie Grace.
2. I can stick out my belly.
3. I don't really have stretch marks like I thought I would. '
4. I love to feel her moving around in there.
5. I love that people have been a little more courteous here and there.
6. My skin, although discolored, is softer.
7. Closer parking spots.
8. The element of surprise. When will I have my baby? Is she going to come early, right on time, what?
9. Baby showers!
10. Baby clothes.
11. Dragging Brandon around different baby stores.
12. People coming up and asking me when I'm due, what the baby is, if they can touch my belly. I love that part. It makes me feel not as repulsive if people actually want to approach me.
13. Nursery.


There's so much more, believe me. The good outweighs the bad, but now I can't think!

Anyhow, I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas and were able to truly celebrate what it means. We had a fun weekend of family and friends! On Christmas eve, we went over to my parents' house for the Sullivan family Christmas.

We exchanged our 12 month gift boxes, had a huge dinner, and there was much happiness. I had drawn my uncle Shannon's name and had a difficult time filling his box, but I think he ended up with some good stuff.

1. Blind Side movie
2. Hachi movie
3. Candle (haha)
4. Alabama shirt
5. Alabama beanie
6. Old Navy pajama bottoms in AL colors with white polar bears.
7.Bath and Body Works Citron spray for men ( hope he liked it)
8. $10 Tractor Supply Gift Card
9. $15 Tractor Supply Gift Card

I know I didn't have 12 gifts, but there was supposedly a limit as to what we were supposed to spend... haha.

My mom drew my name, so I got a ton of good things! She knows me, so it was easy for her to think up little things that I might enjoy. I got a lot of jewelry, some souvenirs from her cruise (haha), a cute magnet, an ornament for Natalie, this awesome little cat light, a book light, a key finder (hehe- she knows how often I misplace my keys.) To top it off, she also got me an Old Navy gift card! WOW!

Brandon drew my cousin's wife, Amber. And while he really didn't participate in the box like I did, his money went toward supplying her with a ton of things that I liked. :)
Makeup bags, magnets, Bath and Body works stuff, a cute wallet, Target gift card, gloves, lip gloss. . . you know, all the fun things that ladies love. Well, I don't know her that well, so I hope she at least liked what we picked out. I mean, what *I* picked out.

My grandma drew Brandon's name, and he got most of the stuff that I did from my mom, minus the jewelry. My mom and Grandma were often together when they were getting these gifts, so they were on the same train of thought. ;) They only found out last month from each other who the other person had, so it was pretty funny to discover we had similar gifts going to the same house.

On Christmas morning, Brandon and I woke up and exchanged the presents we weren't supposed to get for each other. He got me two period films, Little Dorrit (BBC) and Louisa May Alcott's Inheritance. That was a total B- minus movie, so don't watch it. He felt bad, but it was only $5. How many duds have we bought in bargain bins? Too many. He also got me an Old Navy giftcard. If I can, I'm going to seriously hold off on redeeming it until after the baby. I am seriously tired of maternity clothes. I cannot wait to have a shopping spree when I shed the baby weight!!
I got him an amazon gift card, a Starbucks gift card, Bath and Body Works' Twilight Woods for men and a bag of Christmas M&Ms.

After that, we showered and went to my parents' house for a yummy Christmas breakfast. I'm not a breakfast person, but I seriously gave in to the bacon and eggs. I even had a bite of frozen pecan pie that Brandon insisted was the best thing ever. In its congealed state, it was pretty amazing.

My parents got us a Weber grill as a Christmas/housewarming present! I cannot wait to start using it. I'm not a big griller because I've never had one, but I cannot wait to make turkey burgers and other fun, healthy things on the grill. It helps that we have the screened in deck out back. That way, we can grill in the winter and not have to brave the ice and cold.

We also got a shop vac (perfect for cleaning out our funky cars to prepare for Natalie), a dryer ball that is supposed to really catch lint and cat hair and reduce wrinkles and the need for dryer sheets (win!), a Lowes giftcard for $50, a Mastercard giftcard for $50, the comforter that I wanted for our bed from Target (so pretty). Brandon got some pajama bottoms ( ironically the same ones we bought for my dad), and I got a robe and some non-skid socks for the delivery room. It was amazing! My parents really did a good job of spoiling us!

We got my dad a $50 Bass Pro giftcard, the pajama bottoms, and a night on the town with Brandon and his dad to see the Predators play next Sunday night. I bought my mom this adorable coat from QVC , a $25 giftcard to Homegoods ( she rarely uses gift cards, but I hope she takes advantage of this one since I broke her kitchen chair!) some red pajama bottoms with candy cane hearts (adorbs), a watch, and a pair of earrings. I think she liked her haul. I'm never sure with her, but I think she definitely appreciated the pretty coat. Red is her color, and she looked fabulous, whether or not she'll admit it.

Part 2 to come... I stink and need a shower in the worst way.

Haha, and I'm tired of watching the little neighbor boy slide around on his mini-John Deere tractor. . .

Merry Christmas!!!

So... Merry Christmas, guys!!! AND... Natalie is only three months away!! I sometimes feel like she's going to come any minute. Hope you guys have a wonderful holiday, eat until you can't move, and have fun celebrating the birth of our wonderful Jesus.

I'm currently watching Tori and Dean on Oxygen and trying to straighten this house up before we make the weekend runaround!

Stubborn dog, cancelled plans

I've not had a good day. It's not made of the typical "bad day" sort of stuff. It's just been sort of "blah". I've started to experience Braxton Hicks contractions, and they are not fun at all! It's like a shooting stab of pain that comes out of nowhere and leaves you breathless. It's not dehabilitating, but I definitely have to stop and take a break every now and then. That, and I think morning sickness is rearing its ugly head for the third trimester.

Brandon and his dad have gone to Atlanta for a hockey game this weekend, so I was given the duty of walking our dog while he's away. I absolutely hate it! First off, the dog walks me, not vice-versa. And then he gets excited and jumps up on my belly! If all of that isn't enough, he also periodically attacks the neighbor's dogs. So embarrassing. And tonight, the little rascal didn't even try to go to the bathroom when I walked him. He's down in the basement now, and I don't look forward to the rancid mess that awaits me. It was enough to hurl me into a meltdown of sorts. "If I can't keep this dog from dragging me across the subdivision, how will I raise a child?!" I'm sure my screaming wasn't too attractive. The neighbor's dogs have collars and are technically not supposed to get on our lawn, but that didn't stop the sequence of events. . . and while she apologized, I felt like the idiot who shouldn't own a dog. I don't even like our dog half of the time. True story. I am a cat person. I feed and pet the dog because Brandon loves him, but I am not really bonded to him beyond that. I hate it because I want to enjoy the dog, but when push comes to shove, I just don't. He's a lot of work, and I don't feel like the pain is worth it half the time. I personally would like to be out a dog by the time the baby gets here, but that probably won't happen. That being said, I know it's my fault for bringing him home in the first place. In all honesty, if my father-in-law said he wanted him, I would gladly pack up his chew toys and ship him on his merry way. End rant.

I was supposed to meet my parents to go Christmas shopping tonight, but it's not going to happen. I was really looking forward to it, but after half an hour of begging the dog to poop and it not happening, I wasn't really feeling any Christmas cheer. Instead, I had angry tears streaming down my face and was really annoyed that I let our DOG ruin the evening. And then the hormones set in as I trudged upstairs. At one point, I was crying TO THE BABY that things we're going right and that I hoped I didn't screw her up like I evidently have screwed up the dog.

I think I'm going to call it an early night and go to bed. So exhausted, mentally and physically. I didn't know I could cry so much over a dog not pooping. I felt like a failure. Haha!

random mishmash

I don't know what it is, but I'm not super excited about Christmas this year. I'm not bluesy or anything, but it just seems rushed, and I think I'm so much looking forward to next year's Christmas that this one is passing in a blur. In truth, I'm just counting the days until the end of March.

So, anyhow. . . on a completely unrelated note, I stepped on the scale tonight and I am down 5 lbs from my last doctor's visit. I was fully clothed, so I think it was just Thanksgiving dinner that hung around for my prenatal visit and not me actually gaining more weight than I was supposed to. This makes me very happy, but I am wondering if I should be losing weight at all at this point? The doctor told me to avoid fast foods, sweets, and to do a lot of walking for the remainder of the pregnancy. Okay, so I cut most of that out for a week, and I'm down. I guess it was the mental shift from thinking pregnancy was an excuse to cram my face to actually seeking out alternatives to chicken nuggets and cookies. It's the Christmas season, so it is a little difficult to avoid sweets. They're, like, everywhere. I do sneak them in, though. :)

Anyhow, I finished my Christmas tree tonight. I'm not too proud of it, so I think I'll skip the pictures this year. It's just a little scrawny, and I didn't feel like pouring the usual effort into it. I thought that moving into a new house would mean that I would transform into a little Martha Stewart and conjure up all sorts of DIY projects, but life is so hectic. I can't imagine even finding the time to crank out the nursery. It seemed like such a priority a couple of months ago. It was all I thought about. Now that we have the room painted and are awaiting the furniture, it just seems like the scariest task ever.

Tonight, I've been thinking about "what ifs". Like, what if Natalie comes early? I've had a little bit of pain in my side for the last hour or so. While I don't think it signifies a contraction or anything, I know I have reached the "age of viability". If she came now, she would be almost 2 lbs. She would be in the NICU for a bit, but she would survive. We would have NOTHING for her here, save for a few outfits that would swallow her whole. And while she would be at the hospital for a good few weeks, we would have to throw together an emergency baby furnishing operation. As of now, we wouldn't even have a carseat to bring her home in! My baby showers probably won't take place until I'm eight months, so it's a daunting thought!

I could be reading about what I'm supposed to be expecting this week, but I would rather be in the dark about some things. I tend to stress myself out when I look into things. Like, instead of reading all the great information, I look at what could possibly go wrong at each stage. Right now, I have mastered avoidance. I'm sure if you looked at my google history for the first few months of this pregnancy, you'd find some scary things.

For right now, things are progressing and my doctor seems very pleased with how things are going. I have to go back at 28 weeks for a glucose test, but I'm hoping to pass that with flying colors and not be put on a strict diet with finger pricking for the rest of my pregnancy...

Anyhow, going to go clean up. . .

Tired. Hope it snows tonight, though we have church and lunch with new friends that I would hate to miss.

wants/needs/gimme gimme

I feel like I can breathe now. We are out of the rental house completely! No more worries about knocking down cobwebs from obscure corners or patching up nail holes. No more carting load after load of boxes from the old house to the new one. We finally have ONE house now. We still have a ton of boxes to work with, but I'm definitely making some progress on the pile. It wasn't so daunting to pack all this junk up, but I hate having to think of where I'm going to put it now. Can I just say this house is bigger but that it does not have as much storage as I'm used to?

Anyhow, I was walking around and surveying things and was making a mental list of the stuff I would like for this house. This is definitely not going to be immediate gratification kind of stuff, yet a lot of it is not expensive at all, just small things. I guess I inherited my mother's aversion to dropping $50.00 or more each time I go to the store. And I cannot stand to even think about pulling out my credit card. Call me old fashioned, but thinking about going into debt makes me panic. I keep repeating the mantra that it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful.

So, without further adieu, here's my list. You guys may snicker at this, but whatever. :)

New dish towels- Haha, I know this sounds awfully stupid, but we got some of the ugliest dish towels known to man when we got married. And while I'm not a snob when it comes to the dish towel, I don't want to have crazy mismatched ones when company comes over.
New towels- same thing. We couldn't make up our mind over which color scheme we wanted for the bathroom, so we registered for a gazillion towels and never returned the ones that did not match because a) we were lazy b) we started using them. We have burgundy, yellow, brown, green, taupe, white, blue, and pink towels. It is a visual trainwreck under my bathroom cabinet.
Welcome mats and area rugs- We aren't so far gone that we've never had a welcome mat. They just never survive around us. Enter one cold, blustery day or a flood, and we're out a door mat. I cannot count how many times our welcome mat ended up in the shrubbery. I eventually threw it away and forgot to replace it.
Area rugs- I don't want terribly expensive ones because we have cats, but it would be nice to have an extra splash of color to the room and something soft for Natalie to crawl on when she gets old enough. Hardwoods are especially cold in the winter, and an area rug would warm the room nicely.
Black or dark brown picture frames with white or off-white mattes- I want to do something Ikea-esque up our staircase, on the wall above our couch, and on the wall above the desk in the "library". I have found some cheapy frames at Wal-Mart for $3.00 a pop, so this dream is not in the far distant future. It's just a matter of buying said frames and filling them up with pictures.
A custom frame for Brandon's uncle's painting- Brandon's uncle was a street vendor in Ukraine who created some awesome paintings. Brandon took it upon himself to try and staple the canvas to some plywood. It was a two-man job, and he did it by himself. Consequently, it's uneven and loose on the wood. I am not a fan. I do not hide this. I am not a block canvas sort of person. I like the dimension that frames add to art.
New bedding for master and guestroom- I have had the same discount Ross comforter for 3 years. It was $12.99 and was part of a collection from Kohl's. I dressed up the plain bedding with pillows. I love it, but we have a very deep mattress and it doesn't quite make the cut. We have a queen size bed, but we need king size bedding. We found a Pottery Barn set that we loved in July and waited for it to go on clearance. By the time it was marked down, we lost out! It's now listed on Ebay for $100 more than Pottery Barn was asking for it. Um, no thanks. I think I can sleep on my discount bedding for a little bit longer.

The guest room? Well, anything would be nice. I've never had a plan for that room.

Shelf for the laundry closet- I need a shelf for my detergent! I'm tired of shifting bleach and detergent from the top of the washer to the top of the dryer. I also need a place to put extra (ugly) towels and linens. ( No linen closet!!)
Closet organization thingies- shoe racks, purse racks, random rubbermaid things.
Cat doors-I want the cats to go potty down in the basement so I can assemble my guestroom. No one wants to smell that.

Nursery- I want to have my nursery cleared out so I can start imagining where Natalie's furniture is going to go.

Okay, I'm sure there's a lot more... just dreaming! :)

Dollar Store Clothing Haul 'cause Natalie is classy like that. ;)

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! I found these cuties at the Dollar General on our moving day!!!!! And I just found them again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM!! The bib kills me! It's so adorable!!

Has my neighbor seen me in my underwear?! LOL

Trying to acclimate myself to subdivision living...

So, our house backs up to some woods and our upstairs windows are usually open, right?

I'm vacuuming our guest room where the cats' litter box is currently stationed. This means a steady spray of cat litter on the floor every couple of days or so, so I have to keep it in check lest they track it all over the house.

Anyhow, I was vacuuming this morning in my underwear because it's probably how a lot of us newlyweds choose to do things when we don't have kids running underfoot and don't have our entire family there to walk in on such an embarrassing thing. We're trying to squeeze the last few months of this in before it's entirely off limits and we're banned to a life of sweats and t-shirts, though Brandon will likely ocasionally bust out the boxers for good measure. ( It's a whole lot better than my Dad and his briefs, lemme tell you, though Natalie may not think so!)
Anyhow, in the back of my mind I'm aware that we're in a subdivision and no longer have property that backs up to nothing but land, but I felt safe and secure because no houses are on the back side of our house. And then it strikes me that the woods are there and our next door neighbors hunts behind our house in the woods. I wonder how many times we've been seen walking around in our underwear. I wonder if they have a nickname for us. They've been MIA lately, so maybe we've frightened them away?


And while it's better than naked, my neighbor has probably seen me in my underwear. ( I'm just speculating, I don't know for certain...) I wonder how our next conversation will go. Anyhow, I promptly ran and grabbed a pair of sweats and a t-shirt because hey, I'm pregnant, and this belly is massive. I keep telling myself it's like I was in a bathing suit, but now I feel all weirded out!

Haha, sometimes I miss acreage!

I have no creative taglines, sorry...

Hello, hello. It's 6am, and I have been wide awake and freezing since a little before 4am. I finally had to get up, put some thicker pajamas on, and trudge downstairs for some blog stalking and facebook prowling...

We have another ultrasound today, and I think I'm a little nervous and excited about that. Hopefully our little girl will cooperate and we'll be able to get a good look at her face and heart. I'm hoping and praying that everything goes normally and that there are no defects or concerns. I have no reason to believe that anything's wrong, but it concerns me a bit that she was on her belly the entire time last time. I've also had some spurts of movement from her followed by long periods of stillness, so I don't know. I guess that's normal, but every little thing you feel and don't feel in pregnancy makes you wonder.

Haha, I'm also a little nervous that we might find out she's a boy this time! I love little boys and would not be opposed to whatever God gives me, but I've already gone on a little shopping spree! Her umbilical cord was between her legs last time. The tech looked twice for us to make sure, but mistakes have been made from time to time, and I guess I'm thinking that if it happened to anyone, it would happen to the girl who's already had her baby's room painted a bright, cheery aqua and bought some undeniably girly outfits. ;)

I am so thankful for this baby, but there are times when I'm paralyzed by the fear of being a mother. I have never really been around newborns. As soon as I hold a baby, I am usually the one handing it right back after the obligatory bounce and butt pat. I don't know if it's pregnancy or sheer terror, but I get really overheated these days when I'm handed a baby. I could chalk it up to hormones and usually do, but I think it's the reality that I will be holding my own in four short months if all goes as planned.

And when it comes to baby registries and shopping for a baby, there are so many options out there. I tried to do some research and got seriously overwhelmed. There's my mother who thinks everything I get needs to come from a consignment store ("You won't use it for long! And you'll have way too much stuff you won't need! Why spend the money on new stuff when you can bleach it in clorox?") and then my mother-in-law who joked or was maybe serious about wanting to have her own shower so she'll have stuff at her house during the times she keeps Natalie. Two conflicting views, one frazzled mommy! I DON'T CARE!

That being said, there are only four items on my registry thus far.
An angel care movement monitor, $100-- it actually has some sort of sensor that will cause an alarm to go off if baby turns on her back or stops breathing. According to Target's reviews, this thing has been a lifesaver many times and has allowed panicked mommies to be able to sleep instead of waking up every thirty seconds to check on baby.

A changing pad. . . for all the yucky that will ensue.

A baby tub... for washing off all of the yucky.

And there was something else, but I can't remember. I want to drag Brandon up and down some baby aisles to help me make decisions, but I have a feeling he will be more overwhelmed than I am, and then we'll register for nothing because we'll say "Let's go back later!". That's what we did last time. We never had this problem when creating our wedding registry. There was no research involved. We either liked it or we didn't, and then we changed our minds 3 months later and was stuck with it all! So, if you ever come over and stay with us and see that we have bajillion different colored towels, you'll know what happened. I had not nailed down a color theme. Haha. It's like Joseph's coat of many colors under our bathroom sink. ( I feel so sad that I've acquired two more bathrooms but have no linen closet!)

I'm personally holding out to have a little April Fool's Day baby. That would be exactly a week past my due date. I think that would be fun.

I'll try to get the house looking good in the next couple of weeks so I can provide you guys with a glimpse of our new home. We still have a couple more rooms to paint, so we have furniture crammed into the baby's room.

On the 18th, Brandon and his dad are making a Christmas trip to Atlanta to see the NJ Devils play against whoever Atlanta's hockey team is, so they will be making a pitstop at IKEA. I have already compiled a list of what they are to return with, so maybe I can start putting together the baby's room in January when life slows down.

I am excited and scared.

Also? Brandon decides tomorrow if he's going to be leaving the country in June for ten days to go across the world on a mission trip to Ukraine. I would lie if I said I felt comfortable with him wanting to go. At that point, Natalie will still be a newborn, and I am terrified at the idea of anything happening to him. I don't know how I'll handle being a mother, and if I suffer through PPD or PPA or PPOCD or something scary, I want him here for support. I think he understands that I'm not trying to limit his opportunities, but the timing's just not right next year.

I'm hoping that he will decide to stay, but I know I cannot force him.


Anyhow, off to get ready for the big appointment. Don't want to be late! It's a farther drive now! Have a good day!

random update

So... I am pretty much dead from the combination of moving, unpacking, Thanksgiving and Black Friday...

BUT... I did manage to come home and drag one of our Christmas trees up from the basement. I'm debating on putting up two trees this year since it's the first time I've had two large windows to work with, but I'm a little tired and don't know if I should be concentrating my efforts there or in the general furnishing of the new house. One day I'll have pictures, but I would prefer that the pictures not show the many boxes that are still unpacked. ( I would rather decorate than unpack! There's so much to do!)

Anyhow, thought I would share the quick supper I threw together tonight when I got in. We had chicken breasts that needed to be used, so I boiled them in a mixture of chicken broth and water after coating them in pepper, poultry spice, garlic salt, and who knows what.

After that, I shredded the chicken, popped open a can of cream of chicken, mixed some leftover mashed potatoes with a half stick of melted butter, crumbled a handful of oyster crackers on top and baked for about 20 minutes at 350.

Surprisingly, it's good!

So now I'm going to trot off and straighten out the branches of one of my trees and simultaneously watch Stacy and Clinton transform some more people. Someone please vote for me to get on that show!

I am not dead.

This is just an update to say that I am not dead.

I am just completely and utterly exhausted from this move, working, and pregnancy.

I know that ten days doesn't really signify a major time lapse in blogland, but I felt like I owed an explanation. I have been in a black hole of busy work, packing, and more packing. Both houses are a mess, and it's just not fun right now.

And... I have not been able to get a good night's sleep. Sleeping on my side is no fun, and it takes me an hour and a half sometimes before I can make myself power down. Even then, I always wake up because I somehow roll to my back and cannot breathe!

So... maybe I'll be talking again in December. For now, November's definitely too much for me!

irrational fears

Praying for peace of mind today! I am the kind of person that worries incessantly over things and becomes uncontrollably anxious. I am a worse-case scenario kind of person, and it really gets on my nerves. Today, Brandon and I decided to get a head-start on cleaning out the basement. Cue me lumbering around and hoisting boxes from the back of the basement, sweeping up tumbleweeds of cat hair, and deciding I would clean out the basement shower stall (where we keep both litter boxes). Many of you might recall my freak out a couple of months ago because I'm pregnant and we have cats. I pretty much diagnosed myself with toxoplasmosis and was a nervous wreck until my blood test results came back negative. I have never had the disease and was not immune to it if it should show up during pregnancy. Keep in mind that I'm not usually the one changing the litter, but I had exposed myself to some form of cat waste that had been the product of someone's (not naming any names) incontinence!

Anyhow, shift to today when I'm cleaning out our basement shower stall. I'm happily lifting out litter pans and putting them down on the floor beside our open door ( score for ventilation) and making a lot of progress. I then start to sweep up scattered litter from four corners of the shower stall, making a big pile that I can suck up with the vacuum cleaner. I'm also wearing gloves (score for hand protection). My eyes then fall on a paint can in the back of the shower stall (no idea why it was there) that looks like it's stuck to the floor. Apparently, a full can of paint has busted. When I attempt to pick up the paint can, it's stuck to the floor. I tug and tug and finally pry it loose, leaving a trail of beige wet paint in my wake. I decide that I must vacuum up litter particles before I even attempt to work with the paint mess. I go upstairs, nearly die dragging the vacuum back down the stairs, hook up my extension and get to work. In the next minute or so, my vacuum gets dangerously full and I have to empty it. While pulling apart the compartment, litter flies everywhere. It's in the innards of the vacuum, and I'm pulling it out with my gloved- fingers. Around this time, my nose starts to itch from the combination of dust and cat litter. Without thinking, I know I lifted one of my hands up at one point to scratch my nose. My fingers had been near the litter. Granted, the litter was not covered in fecal matter and was just loose litter, but -- do you see where my mind's going?

Of course, I wasn't worried about any such thing at the time. My mind was engaged by trying to get my vacuum put back together. If you ever wanted to see a tantrum, I'm sorry you weren't there. I'm pretty sure I swore and hit the vacuum multiple times before giving up and waiting for Brandon to return from the dump.

It wasn't until we had come up from the basement that my mind went there, there being that dangerous place that it goes when I let my fears rule my mind and heart. Insert my mad googling rampage about toxoplasmosis. The links on google were still purple from the last time I went through this. I know that it's not really likely that any of my cats are infected with toxoplasmosis. They are not outdoors and eating wild game or raw meat. I have a greater change of contracting the disease by not washing my vegetables or eating undercooked meat than I do of getting it from my cats. There's just that small, rare possibility that scares me.

And then I realize that these fears usually come on the scene after something really great has happened. I saw my wonderful, precious baby girl via ultrasound on Thursday. You think I'd be set. No, it means it's time to go around looking for more irrational fears to weigh me down. If it's not caffeine, it's paint. If it's not paint, it's cat poop. If it's not that, it's hot showers.

So, tonight, I ask, if you have a moment, that you would pray for my peace. I am so nervous and anxious about everything and nothing these days. I want to trust God and lean on His promises. I'm about to go search for some bible verses to repeat if these feelings latch on too strongly again.

Anyhow, Brandon was getting tired of, "Do you think I have toxoplasmosis? Do you think Natalie's going to be okay? Do you think she'll be handicapped?" -- so I had to come here.

I have a hard time trusting. Can't you tell?

I have popped! My stretch marks confirm this.

I'm somewhat embarrassed. When I lifted up my shirt to check out Natalie this morning, I saw the smattering of stretch marks she left me through the night. My stomach had this awful stretching and pulling thing going on all through the day and I had a hard time sleeping, and now I see why! Time to slather on more cocoa butter. Man, I thought I was going to be one of the lucky ones in this area. I just need to get a grip on them before they turn bright red and purple! Ah, not that I could ever get away with a bikini... but I don't suppose I really can now... hehe! At first I thought they were indentions left from the sheets, but now I see they aren't going away. Oh, to have elastic-y skin...

Well, it's time for an update, isn't it? I'm taking a little break from breaking down the guest room and laundry so I can strut my stuff all over the internet and announce my happy news...

We are blessed to be having a baby girl sometime in March! I am deliriously happy because I've always dreamed of having a little girl. A small part of me was sad to not be experiencing a baby boy this time around, but we're probably not going to stop at one child, so it looks good.

Last night before the ultrasound I could barely sleep. I was suffering from an extremely fluttery belly (not the baby, just nerves-- kid on Christmas Eve kind of feeling) and developed a charlie horse. I woke up in the middle of the night to pee and had a hard time falling back asleep until it was, like, 4:30 or so. I then slept until 7:00. I had aspirations of being up at 5:30 and doing full on hair and makeup in order to capture the news on film, but we all know that didn't happen. We rolled into the parking lot around the time of the appointment, 8:30 AM. Luckily, there was a wait due to patient volume, so we didn't cause any of the medical personnel to wait on us. (And really, when has that ever happened? Every time I go to the doctor, my appointment never starts on time.)

So, my mom, MIL, Brandon, and I killed time in the waiting room by exchanging stories about our childhoods. The ultrasound started around 9:00. I loved the bedside manner of my technician, a combination of humor and her own experiences in childbearing. The cold goop was dumped on to my gut and the party started. As opposed to my last ultrasound, as soon as the "wand" laid against my stomach a clear image of the baby popped up on the screen. We were able to identify the head, spine, arms, legs, bum, and to quite easily rule out that it was not a little boy. This little girl was sleeping on her belly with her head nestled somewhere against my hipbone. (Ouch! Move over, baby! The tech said that explained any soreness I was having in my tendons...) We were never able to get her to roll around to her back so we could get a clear look at her face. We were able to see that her heart looked healthy with four chambers, but the doctors feel more comfortable when the spine isn't blocking the view. That being said, I get to see my little dumpling again when I go back in four weeks. I hate that I didn't see her today, but I love the chance of getting to see her again before I deliver!

When I actually sat down and talked to my doctor, I told her that I was fearful that I hadn't felt any movement yet. We then narrowed it down that I was feeling movement, I just thought it was mostly gas. She said that when you're pregnant, your bowels kind of move over to the side so anything felt around the pubic bone is definitely baby and not gas bubbles. Good to know. We all know me. I panic.


Okay, tired and hungry again. Check out my facebook for pics of our girl!!

Nursery Storyboard

Alphabet wall- DIY project that probably takes more time than I actually have, but I LOVE this. Can you tell that I want my baby to read early?

pst... this is all part of my plan to keep walls neutral and liven them up with some color and three-dimensional fun! Okay, I am officially having a lot of fun. And... I have to say... I think I'll be doing this theme either way. It's gender neutral and tranquil, yet super fun!! Look at that huge button. That alone makes me want to cry. And I have some white furniture that needs repainting, so I already have a lot of the stuff needed to complete my dream nursery. OH MY GOODNESS. I am ready to start this project. This nursery is my Christmas gift. LOL.

Bedding, $160 Babies-R-Us

The crib that I want is similar to the one in the picture and costs $200.

I was also thinking of using some vintage alphabet flash cards to put in various frames throughout the room, maybe even spelling out baby's name on a little shelf above the crib. The rest can be hung from string and clothespins in a corner of the room, and I think I will then tire of my love of the alphabet.

At that point, I might even start on some punctuation or definitions. LOL.

Seriously, I just googled "definition art".

In the early winter, I think we'll make a trip out to IKEA and come home with some cool toys, a spiffy hanging chandelier, and some paper lanterns.

And then I think we'll have our budget nursery well underway and prepped for little Dragan! I have to go get ready for work, but this was a lot of fun!

seventh grade-wowza

It's always fun to find old pictures. I was cleaning out one of our desks today, and I found this totally random gem from the seventh grade, back when overalls were a staple for the cool kid! Okay, maybe they weren't, and maybe I was a dork back then like I am now. . .

Anyhow, wish my hair was still that thick. Don't miss those Bert and Ernie brows for anything, but it's fun to think back on the days of yesteryear, a simpler time-- although we didn't think so!

Baby Registry Panic Attack Rant

No one told me that a baby registry would lead to a headache.

I know that I'm a little premature here. We don't know what we're having until November 4th, but I wanted to get a head start and do a little bit of research. I feel like I'm going to vomit. I seriously had a near panic attack trying to read all of the reviews on car seats and strollers. I am not ready for this! I don't know what I'm doing. I'm in love with the idea of a baby, but I seriously have no idea how to take care of a baby. It's been an eternity since my days of highschool babysitting, and I doubt I even remember how to change a diaper! And I don't think I've ever held a newborn beyond the initial "meet the new baby" kind of thing. And that had to be thirteen years ago with my little cousin!

So, I am a fresh bundle of nerves, and I want to cry. I'm googling suggestions for new moms, and I am lost in a whirlwind of breast pumps, infant carriers, and swaddling cloths.

I am attributing this to hormones and the fact that we're going to be moving in a month. Thankfully, I have a couple of friends who are first-timers like me who have already made their registries and had their babies. When you're alone and looking at that stuff, it can be extremely intimidating. You don't want to get stuff you can't use, and you don't want to get something that's going to be on safety recall in a couple of months. You also want to get something that's going to practically grow with you and your child.

It's finally beginning to hit me. Being a mommy is hard work, and this baby has about five more months to cook! No wonder some moms have mental breakdowns. It's way too early in the game to be getting this overwhelmed. Granted, this is the first time I've allowed this to happen...

I just want to cry, cry, cry...

In other news, I had my appointment yesterday. Everything's going great so far! Check it out... I've only gained 6 lbs this entire pregnancy. I gained 10 with the miscarriage, so that's 16 lbs total from any sort of pre-pregnancy. And that was a good 30 lbs heavier than my wedding weight, so... haha.

It brings me back to this, though. I just want to cry!

week of insanity ramble

Okay, so we got some word back on the house! It's in the middle of inspection right now, but the appraisal went well. Just a little more time now and then I'll post pictures.

I'm ecstatic to get inside and decorate it. I'm a little iffy about the amount of yardwork I'll have to do. I am seriously the opposite of a greenthumb, but I look forward to learning. Brandon's in a horticulture class this semester, so I'm sure he'll be able to help! The house is beautiful! I can't believe it's ours! Seems like a dream to not be renting anymore.

This week is proving to be a busy, hectic week so far and it's only Monday.

Yesterday, my macbook greeted me with the white screen of death. We've only had it for two years, so it was a complete surprise. Apparently, there's a trend of macbooks' hard drives going out when system updates are performed. I'm crossing my fingers that that's not the case, but all of this happened in the wake of a system update, so I'm not too optimistic. It wouldn't be such a big deal if it weren't a $1500 computer. I'd always heard that macs are golden computers that never have anything go wrong, so I'm a bit turned off right now. We're going to go to the apple store some time this week, but it'll be tough finding the time. I really don't want to drive to Green Hills and stand in line for an hour or more to be told to shell out $500 for something that should not have happened in the first place. I will be desolate if my pictures are lost. That was really the only thing I had on that computer, and we didn't have anything backed up because we didn't feel the need to go the extra mile. "Macs don't crash!"

Anyhow, we both worked today (my day was long and involved Christmas lights, garland, and floral wire) and went over to my in-laws for an eventful dinner of chicken marsala. So good!

Tomorrow we both work and Brandon has class, and then on Wednesday I have my 16/17 week prenatal checkup and lunch and dinner plans while Brandon has work and class. We're also taking of our cats to be spayed and declawed that day. I'm a bit nervous.

The rest of the week is work and packing and trying not to go insane. I'll have to let you guys know how it goes. I'm already tired!

for all the geeks like me

I am quite easily one of the most awkward people you will probably ever come into contact with. This entry has pretty much written itself several times over in my head the past few years, but now I'm finally sitting down to write it.

Here's the thing. I hate running into old acquaintances when I'm out and about in public. It's not that I don't want to see said acquaintances and see how they're doing. No, it's always nice to catch up outside the world of facebook and social media, but it's crippling to me. Words get lost on the tip of my tongue, and this overwhelming shyness and loss of confidence creeps in, and then I say something totally random. I think it's because I've been reliant on keeping up with people by not actually having relationships (ie. facebook), so I've lost the ability to hold a decent conversation that's not punctuated by something awkward . The people in my current life know me to be the nutty, eccentric person that I am! The people from my past... well, I don't really know what they think of me, and it bothers me when I start to mull over the possibilities. I lose confidence in myself quickly these days. I'm embarrassed to admit that.

Anyhow, I guess shyness and social awkwardness doesn't end with high school or even college. For some of us unlucky ones, it can even follow us into adulthood! I don't know if it's a lack of exposure to people or what over these last few years or working in the degrading industry of retail, but I have suddenly, in my adult years, become very anxious when I'm around people I don't know or don't know very well or haven't seen in years. Again, it has nothing to do with the person and everything to do with me and my own perception of myself. I've run into so many people from my past lately! Today, I ran into someone who I didn't mind seeing again and who is very lovely, but I digress... it's always nicer to run into someone when you're not wearing a frumpy-too-big-for-you-maternity-top and have your hair done! (Guess which two things weren't quite on my side.) I always imagined that I'd be a blonde, size 2, gorgeous sex bomb by the time I ran into anyone from my past! Delusional, I think. And then there's the fact that blonde and my complexion don't mix. 'Nother story for another entry, friends.

Pete Wilson, our pastor at Cross Point, had a blog the other day about the way we hide behind and market ourselves through social media. We're one way to those around us, and then we have another distinct internet identity. I'm not talking internet predators or living lies, I'm just saying we want to be perceived differently from our reality. If we're showing pictures of our home, we normally clean it up to make it appear spotless. If we're tagged in unsightly pictures of ourselves on facebook, we automatically go through and remove the tag so we're not associated with the five double chins that so ungraciously appeared. (Since becoming pregnant, I've developed a fixation with my chins. Call it BDD or insanity. Whatever.) We want people to see the air-brushed shell of what we really are. At least, that's how I operate. I don't mean to include the entire population in this ramble. . . this is just me musing. And I can't help but feel like I am sometimes a letdown when you really get to see the true picture. Thanks, society! Or thanks, Jami's bad body image.

I just thank God that I was never one of those people who were bullied or traumatized because I would probably be always stuck in the past and watching my every move. I would always have an internal monologue going. We watched You Again tonight for Grace Group. (Not the best movie choice, but whatever...) I cringed the entire time and thanked God that most of my school experience was fun and care-free!

Anyhow, this was just a freebie for you. I know every single person out there has awkward moments from time to time. And it makes the moments awkward, not us. :)

Seriously. I am Ugly Betty!

100th post/belly pics/ maternity fashions modeled by moi/ random pictures from Brandon's camera ;)

Well, in honor of it being my 100th post on my public blog,  (This blog existed before and was available to a limited few!) I decided to treat you guys with--erm, make you suffer through some belly pictures and a maternity fashion show, compliments of my mother-in-law who graciously took me shopping yesterday morning after hearing about my Sunday morning meltdown. :) 

Basically, I didn't have anything to cover my gut and my one pair of maternity jeans were in the laundry so I stayed home from church and felt sorry for myself.  So... insert my mother-in-law, a Kohl's coupon, and an hour of nonstop pregnancy fashions! An hour later, I was a new woman who didn't feel quite as frumpy and pitiful. 

It was a great day before my body decided to reject everything I put in my mouth. :/ 

Surprise, nausea! I guess you're not over yet! 

On to the fun! (Please pretend my hair and makeup are amazing, and I don't look like I've worked a nine hour day.) 

I love how empire waist shirts make you look even more pregnant! 

I don't know what happened to this picture below. I guess I accidentally edited it? Haha! 

The one below is actually a dress that I plan on wearing with tights! So cute!

And down below is the eight week difference in belly (and face!). I was eight weeks and starting to bloat in the second one. Jeans still fit. First  one is tonight, almost 16 weeks! Really starting to pop I think! 

Below, before we were pregnant in Atlanta! :) Miss the nondouble chin! 

Okay, so I haven't posted about this yet because I didn't want to jinx it.  We bought a house! It's not completely a done deal because we haven't gotten the sellers' signatures, but that should happen tomorrow. When all is said and done and official, I will post pictures. Hopefully, I will have some pictures of my own soon and not listing photos. When you post listing photos, the address of the house comes up in a google search and links to your blog, fyi. 

That means that I have to put my big girl shoes on and work on decluttering and packing up the rental house. We have some small repairs to do, and it feels a bit overwhelming with our busier schedules, colder weather, and minor pregnancy complications getting in the way. When I say complications, I don't mean true complications. I mean migraines interfering with well-meaning plans to gut kitchen cabinets, nausea ruining the best of intentions when it comes to finishing multiple loads of laundry, and your typical, run-of-the-mill fatigue and swelling of the feet. 

A tylenol and bowl of ice cream later, I think I am feeling a little more up to the task. I'm incredibly excited yet filled with more than a fair share of nerves. This is truly the busiest, most draining time of year for a lot of people, and I hope that, despite fatigue and stress, we're able to come out of this alive and still loving each other.  I find myself overwhelmed when I think of all the projects in addition to both our jobs and Brandon's school. 

In other news, I hate going downstairs to do laundry in the cold, smelly, spidery basement. 

I am so thankful that "our" house has a laundry hookup upstairs and down the hall from the master bedroom. 

In other other news, I am going maternity clothes shopping on Tuesday.  I didn't go to church with Brandon this morning because I couldn't find anything in my closet that still fit okay! This lower belly is popping, and it's not all that attractive when crammed into my mediums and larges! 

Newlywed Game :)

I saw this on Katie's blog, Cleared for Takeoff  and thought it was cute. ;) 

The Newlywed Game 

Hopefully you guys are familiar with the format of this game. 

1. She's sitting in front of the TV-- what's on the screen? 

Brandon: Pride and Prejudice. 

Jami: I will say that I'm usually watching netflix or bonnet pieces on youtube, so he's half way correct there. 

2. You're out to eat. What sort of dressing does she get on her salad? 

Brandon: Ranch. 

Jami: Ranch. 

3. What's one food she doesn't like? 

Brandon: Oysters. 

Jami: Never had them, but they sound disgusting! So I'll go with what he said!

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does she order? 

Brandon: Water with lemon. 

Jami: He knows me so well. 

5. What shirt size does she have? 

Brandon: Medium. 

Jami: Maybe in the distant past... more like large, x-large, or medium maternity. 

6. What shoe size does she have? 

Brandon: 8

Jami: 7 1/2-8 

7. What's her favorite type of sandwich? 

Brandon: Turkey burger from Red Robin.

Jami: Not technically a sandwich, but sure! 

8. What would she eat every day if she could? 

Brandon: Buffalo chicken 

Jami: *gag* I don't think I can honestly think of anything. 

9. What is her favorite cereal? 

Brandon: She doesn't eat cereal.

Jami: Special K w/red berries 

10. What would she never wear? 

Brandon: Lingerie. 

Jami: LOL! 

11. What is her favorite sports team? 

Brandon: NJ Devils 

Jami: Don't really care for sports...

12. What is something she does that you wish she wouldn't do? 

Brandon: Steal the covers. 

Jami: I'm guilty as charged. 

13. What is her heritage? 

Brandon: Cherokee, English/Irish/Welsh

Jami: I guess so!

14. You bake her a cake! What kind? 

Brandon: Red Velvet

Jami: I'd eat that. 

15. Did she play sports in high school? 

Brandon: No. 

Jami: HA! I tried soccer and FAILED. 

16. What could she spend hours doing? 

Brandon: Blogs.

Jami: Addiction. 

17. What unique talent does she have?

Brandon: Attracting homeless animals. 

Jami: It's true. I did find two of our pets abandoned. The other two were from the shelter and were technically homeless before we took them home. 

18. What's her favorite type of coffee?

Brandon: Light and sweet.

Jami: Iced vanilla coffee...

tale as old as time...

If there is such a thing as a perk to being nauseous and sick all day, I would say it would have to be staying in bed and watching movies on netflix and youtube. 

That meant I got to indulge my Disney love for a bit. I saw a commercial last week about Disney's Beauty and the Beast coming to DVD and blue-ray, and it made me think how I haven't seen my FAVORITE Disney movie in a good ten years, at least. Probably more like fifteen. I think I watched it nonstop when it first came out.  That means, in my nauseous insanity, I watched the entire movie ten minute clip by ten minute clip on youtube. 

I kind of forgot how emotional the finale was, and I ended up BAWLING because of the music. This score is just incredible, and this was back when Disney movies were GOOD. I have to say. . . the stage musical doesn't nearly have the same effect on my emotions, and we all know that I love some Broadway! 

I remember my mom taking me to see this in the theatre in 1992. 

So good. Want it on dvd to watch with my kids. I actually want them to put it back in the movie theatre so they can have the same experience I did, complete with popcorn and a massive coke that meant numerous bathroom trips in the middle of the movie. I came home and sang the songs for days and acted out the opening scene in my parents' garage with my neighbors and cousins!   Sad that I remember that! And I wanted to be Belle for Halloween that year, but the costume was so popular that no one had it, and my mom wasn't at her sewing prime yet! Sad day! I think I ended up being a hobo or a bunny rabbit that year. :/ The next year it got even better, a pumpkin. And the next year, Pebbles Flintstone-- ( And to think I resurrected that 4TH GRADE costume by squeezing my 18 year old college freshman self into that seven  years ago!)

This mama's acting like such a LITTLE GIRL with this pregnancy! I hope baby is a little girl because she's certainly getting an overexposure of Disney, froufrou, and classical music. 

I heard little girls are the causes of swollen pregnancy faces and excessive nausea and ACNE (GAH!) , but that's neither here nor there. 

NOW... I MUST finish laundry. It's very inconvenient to get sick in the middle of the day and fall asleep for a few hours trying to "get over" it.  I did manage my grocery shopping ns even succeeded in coming home and putting most of it away. There's still cans on my counter because, despite the lack of food, my pantry is somehow exploding. I have to organize it, clean a sink full of dishes, empty dishwasher,  throw something in the crock pot, and finish laundry before Brandon makes it back home. It's not that he's exactly expecting this of me in my current state, but I'm sure he would like a hot meal every once in a while, right? And I sure would like something that resembles a clean house. 

BAH, nausea, BAH! 

::nervously waiting to hear back about our bid on the house:: I don't want to post pics yet because I'm not sure it's going to be ours. Even though I'm already painting and redecorating that blank canvas of a house in my mind, it's not real yet, and therefore-- I'm not going to break my heart by packing early and buying material for new drapes. Life in limbo is kinda fun, kinda not. It means that I've stopped decorating and rearranging the current house in hopes of packing all of this stuff up. I haven't even dragged my pumpkins and fall decor from the basement. I'm THAT excited.  That, and the idea of going down to the basement for laundry is nauseating, let alone spray painted pumpkins, gourds, and twigs. :/

The house we bid on has a laundry closet upstairs. WIN! And while I wanted an actual laundry room, it definitely helps that it's going to be on the same level as our bedroom. Where laundry used to be one of my favorite chores, I now hate it because it means lugging load after load up and down some majorly narrow steps and hanging out in the dark, spidery recesses of our basement. THAT, and our stupid Whirlpool Cabrio's fabric softener jet is clogged, and my laundry just doesn't smell as pretty anymore. I tried doing all the things the representative told me to do, and we're no longer in warranty because the thing's over two years old. *sigh* Stupid high efficiency piece of junk!  I have to change our detergent anyways. Tide's making me gag.  Too many conflicting smells with the Febreze and the oxyclean and what not. Spare me. 

Okay, that was definitely a housewife ramble. I'm going now. 

no place like home ;)

We just put an offer on a house last night, and I am hoping we hear some good news today. 

Even if it's a counter offer from the sellers. . . 

:) 

In other news, I am doing laundry today and making a lunch of turkey burgers and sweet potato fries. Hopefully, I am back to the land of the living and can step out of icky, fast-food land and into wholesome, healthy pregnancy food land. 

I don't want the diabetes, you know? 

Week 14 Bump Date, abbreviated

Abdominal Achiness During Pregnancy (Round Ligament Pain)

What causes those pains in your belly — and what every pregnant woman can do about abdominal achiness.

What round ligament pain is: As your uterus expands during your pregnancy, you may experience "growing pains" around the middle. The pros call it "round ligament pain," and whatever you want to call these pangs (no cursing, please), round ligament pain is typically felt as achy or sharp sensations on one or both sides of the abdomen. 
  
What causes round ligament pain: Your uterus is supported by thick bands of ligaments that run from the groin up the side of the abdomen. As your uterus grows (and grows and grows!) the supporting ligaments stretch and thin out to accommodate the increasing weight. This weight pulls on the ligaments, causing sharp pains and/or dull aches in the lower abdomen. Other causes of abdominal achiness include increased blood flow (you've pumped up the volume to nurture your baby) and the buildup of your uterine lining. 
  
What you need to know about round ligament pain:
You'll probably notice round ligament pain more when you change positions suddenly or get up from sitting or lying down, or when you cough. It may be brief or last for several hours (yet another mystery of pregnancy). As long as it's occasional and there are no other symptoms accompanying your abdominal achiness (such as fever, chills, bleeding, vaginal discharge, or lightheadedness), there's nothing to worry about.

What to do about round ligament pain: Get off your feet, get comfy, and stay there for a while! If that doesn't bring relief, or if the achiness crosses the line into severe abdominal pain, contact your practitioner and let him or her know what you're feeling.

Need I say more? That's what I'm feeling, what I'm going through besides "fat face" and the occasional toilet-hugging episodes of the first trimester. 

I probably won't post a belly pic this week because I look the same as last week. 

fatty mcbutterface

Remember the good old days when Lyla was fatter than me?  I kid, I kid. 

She looks like she loves me, right? 

I am getting a fat face from this baby. 

Genetics were already working against me because I inherited the full face of my Cherokee ancestors, but now I am double-chinning it with the best of 'em. 

And I hate it. I've always hated my fuller face. Even when I was slim, I had a full face. 

Now that there's a baby in my belly, my face has rebelled against me and probably needs to be donated to science. It's a massive face explosion that has resulted in seven or eight chins, probably closer to ten when I laugh. 

If I were an emoticon, this is what I'd look like :-D ) ) ) ) ) 

Apparently, this sometimes happens.  I was hoping and praying for the only outward indication of pregnancy to be the beach ball belly and some amazingly lush hair due to prenatals, but it appears that I am going to spread in more places than I thought possible.  Believe me, I am so excited for this baby! The baby outweighs all of the discomforts and ugliness I am starting to feel, but I seriously thought pregnant women were supposed to feel beautiful. 

I just feel fatter. And oilier.  Seriously. Hey pregnancy, thanks for making my hair greasy and my face explode with random zits and double chins worthy of a Sumo wrestler. 

And get this, I'm only 14 weeks. I am SCARED of what I'll be 6 weeks from now at the ultrasound. I am not truly in maternity clothes yet and won't be until I pop. For now, I'm just meandering around in my tight clothes and struggling with the constant annoyance of my belly band.  

I'm starting to experience round ligament pain which is a BUTT. 

want your bad romance...

Well, we didn't get the house that prompted the panicked blog entry a few days ago. And when we heard the news, my heart did not explode. I did not break down and throw a tantrum. I was okay. By that time, we had found another house that was "perfect for us".  I know you're rolling your eyes. 

No one ever told me this would happen so much in the real estate game. I think we're just looking for something that's perfectly not a rental that we can make our own.  If it is has custom cabinets and granite counters, that's a plus but definitely not essential to happiness. Because we know THIS girl only spends enough time in the kitchen to EAT. 

( My face is enormous. Seriously. Pregnancy face is not my friend.) 

On a side note, I follow a lot of Jane Austen-inspired blogs. Austenism is one of my guilty pleasures. I love reading spin-offs, thinking up variations. The Regency time period is my favorite. One of them had a post about neo-Regency hairstyles making a come back on men. I found this hilarious because when I people-watch, I imagine people in Regency era clothing. I know I'm weird. Do any of you do that? It's better than imagining them naked, right? ;)  I think of all the various shapes and sizes of people, how their hair would like styled in Regency fashion. . . odd. It's like I'm constantly casting a period film in my head.

But then again, I'm crazy. Have a good night! We're about to watch Four Christmases. :) 

Weird, non-edible pregnancy craving: Christmas movies. 

out of my control.

I hate when things are out from my realm of control. I know that sounds really stupid, but I just hate it. There are some personal things that happened yesterday that I won't get into on this public blog, but anyhow. I wish I could control those things, too! 

I am not usually an insomniac. I owe all of this bliss to pregnancy, bizarre urges to go to the bathroom, and intense hunger pangs. I also owe this to my house lust for a particular house that I posted about and later removed due to fear of the real estate agency seeing my post. 

Apparently if you yank the pictures from the real estate site, it links the house number ( though I didn't list it) to a basic google search of the address. ( I figured this out in my frequent googling of said house.) 

So, we're going to put an offer in after our parents take a look at it on Friday night, and I'm terrified that it's going to sell and that we won't get it. I already freaked out because one real estate site looked like it had sold, but I later found out it was one of those generic things that the agency had on their site for any address, like " Just imagine-- your house, sold!" Apparently, it was some form of encouragement, but it caused me to break out in hives and run through the house bemoaning the one that got away.  Major meltdown, worthy of any toddler's tantrum, I assure you. I'm pretty sure a demon entered me and I screamed to Brandon, " YOU SAID MY PRECIOUS WOULD BE OURS..." 

I'm also terrified that my dad, the handyman of the bunch, will find some major flaw in the house and add his sage wisdom to the decision.  And that Brandon will be unflinching in his desire to NOT sink that much money into the house for repairs, to start looking for something easier, etc, etc...lot of nail biting over here.  I'm starting to wonder-- if it's such an easy fix, why haven't there been more bites? Every house on that road is selling in the $200k except for the one we're looking at, the big "F".  

Basically... a nervous wreck. I don't know if we have the time to move. I know we have a lot of help from both sides of the family and that everything will work out, but I'm just overloaded with feelings about the pregnancy, work, and repairs we need to make to this rental house before we remove ourselves from it. 

Also, we have some friends of ours who desperately want to get out of their own house ( bad neighbors) and rent ours for what we're paying monthly. I don't know if we could snag the same deal for them.  The only reason we caught this break is that my family and these landlords have known each other for generations. It's not every day you rent an 1800-sq. foot renovated house with a full basement for $500 a month, not in this wonky economy. This was our blessing, and it may still continue to be our blessing if things don't work out. I'm trying to be content, but my house lust is overwhelming me. I think that once you hit the fourth or fifth month of pregnancy, your need to nest is uncontrollable and you'll do anything to bring your baby home to something nicer than what currently exists. 

In case you're wondering, I would like to sink about $500-1000 in the rental for repairs. We have to repaint our bedroom due to some sheetrock damage that happened when the roof was leaking. We have to repaint the den due to the paint mishap of 2009 that was not documented anywhere because it was so embarrassing. My mom and I got so sick to our stomachs when we saw that the paint color I had chosen matched the couch exactly. How one does that is beyond my realm of understanding. And then we kept adding white paint to dilute the color, oy vey. Not good. 

And the carpet in the den. . . it's berber, and you know what that means. It unravels at the least disturbance (especially the vacuum) . And we have cats, and I'm sure there's a foot of cat hair beneath that carpet despite the amount of vacuuming I do. And the cats are still fully clawed, so there's some damage to door facings due to their need to go anywhere but the scratching post. Nothing that a small hand-sander and trim paint won't handle, but you get the point.  And then Brutus ( our dog) has completely scratched the heck out of the back door.  That needs to be sanded and repainted. Just a lot of minor repairs that add up to money. I think Brandon wants to sit down and talk to the landlords about the carpet. I'm the sort that doesn't want to talk, just replace aka I'm driving him insane. 

Anyhow, I just had to get that off my chest so I could go back to sleep without making Brandon hate me. There was much tossing, turning, and whimpering about the house when I thought he was awake. HE WAS NOT AWAKE. I woke him up with my pathetic heavy sighs. 

God, please give us this house. 

candy corn candles :)

Don't really have a use for these cute centerpieces this year since we might be moving and won't likely have a Halloween party over here, but I thought these were cute, cheap, and easy! 

You just take different sized wine glasses from Dollar Tree, get some cheapy votives, and fill the glasses with candy corn. ;) 

You can also take a vase and fill it up with candy corn and caramels. 

And take skinny taper candle holders and balance your votives on top. :) 

What a cute idea for a party, no? My kind of decorating-- on the cheap. 

Lyla :)

Lyla :) 

I update way too much these days.

I have massively failed with fluid intake during this pregnancy, so I am trying to make up for it in one sitting. Let it be advised that one should not drink four glasses of water in a row when one has only one bathroom in the house to be shared by two people, one of whom has a nighty ritual of occupying the bathroom for twenty minutes upon arriving home. Ahem. 

Because I don't want my baby to be victim to low levels of amniotic fluid, I am drowning myself.  And today I actually had broccoli and cauliflower. The cauliflower was disguised as mashed potatoes in the form of a meal lovingly made and delivered by my MIL, but I digress. I happily devoured it, washed it down with a microwaveable White Castle ( I hate myself), puffy cheetos, and ice cream, and decided then and there that some things are gonna havta change...

I feel like I ate so much today. It is awesome to have an appetite back, but someone actually told me I was "showing" today. 

Breakfast

-coconut milk and berry smoothie

-bag of blueberry mini muffins 

-trail mix 

Lunch

-small bag of puffy cheetos 

-Chicken Fresco 

-raisins 

-Broccoli and cauliflower florets with ranch dressing 

-Sprite 

Dinner

-chicken 

-2 pieces cornbread

-mashed cauliflower

-microwaveable White Castle 

(This is the point I entered the realm of Chubbydom) 

-cheetos 

-bowl of chocolate ice cream with banana

I don't know why I feel obligated to post so darn much. I guess this is my way of hanging out with baby right now. 

Anyhow, baby and I are going to go curl up and read some Jane Austen and try to down one more glass of water before the night's over...