I never knew how much I would possibly change when I became a mom. Looking through pictures of my sweet Natalie brings tears to my eyes, and I'm thankful for every moment I've had with her. She brings so much undeniable joy, sometimes my heart begins to hurt with heavy love for her!
As I carry a new child within me, I wonder on all the ways I will grow as a mom, and I pray continually for the health and happiness of my children. There are so many sad stories circulating around, tales of death and loss and sickness and grieving parents, and my heart stings and burns each time I hear a new story. I cannot fathom that sort of pain, nor do I ever want to.
My husband thinks I google these things just to carry around fear in my heart, but I read these things on my facebook, hear them on the news. And each time I say a prayer for comfort, for healing, for Jesus to come soon. Parents shouldn't have to bury their babies. Babies and children should not get sick with cancer or be born with holes in their hearts. Babies should not be left in car seats and forgotten. Mommies shouldn't hold their lifeless babies in their arms after normal pregnancies. And babies shouldn't die in their cribs. They should not be struck by a vehicle in their own driveway. Children should not go missing and be found later, tortured, raped, killed. This is the stuff that burns me up and leaves me breathless. WHY?
God, I ask for protection for my children. Both of them who are living. You have one with you in heaven, a baby I never knew, a child that I'm hoping I will one day meet and know. I ask for love and comfort to rain down on the mommies and daddies who are mourning the loss of their precious babies. The desire of my heart is for no harm to come to my children. I don't want harm to come to anyone else's child either. I crave a world where all of that is passed away, where we don't have to worry anymore, and a thank you so much for the blessing of children.
Natalie makes me laugh. So much. She is a little spitfire. She's rough and tumble, messy, and loud. She sings "Twinkle, Twinkle" at the top of her lungs. She's clumsy (bless her) and rambunctious and full of energy and life. She is obsessed with her tiger stickers and constantly slaps away pretend spiders "Spy toes!" She drags pillows around like they're blankets and calls her pacifier a "looler". She gives hard hugs. She won't let me get in her nose to get boogers. World War 3 always ensues over the boogers. :) Each morning, when she wakes up, I get the run down of her massive vocabulary. Sometimes when I'm having a hard time sleeping, I think of all the words, numbers, and colors she knows already. I'm amazed. I am so blessed and thankful, and I do not take my sweet child for granted. God knew exactly what we needed when He gave us our beautiful girl. ;)
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