microwave pizza... awful!

I hate that commercial and it was on, hence the blog title. I'm not terribly creative when it comes to giving things a title. Sorry.
At the risk of sounding totally vain and self-absorbed ( I would have to be a little bit anyways to preface a blog entry with such an introduction, right?), can I just say that I have a bit of a complex when it comes to the way I see myself? Like, when I look in the mirror, I usually see an incredibly obese person with no semblance of beauty? Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way. . . WHAT THE JUNK? (That's probably as close as I'll ever come to cussing on this blog, so take advantage of that.) I was scrolling through some of my old facebook albums tonight and some of my mother-in-law's pictures. These are pictures I had outlawed being tagged in because I was so concerned about double chins or zits or fat rolls or something else unseemly.

Okay, I don't know if it's pregnancy that does it or what, but I realized that those pictures, the ones that I abhored, are the ones I wish I still looked like. And I wonder why the heck I was even concerned to begin with. Maybe it's because I'm older and wiser and find beauty in different things. Maybe it's because I have a daughter on the way and don't want her to adopt the sick mindset I've had over the years.

That being said, I cannot wait to get healthy when the baby comes. I know I shouldn't be phrasing that in future tense because I need to be healthy now that she's growing inside of me. . . blahblahblah. What I mean is, I cannot wait to shed the 20+ lbs that I've gained when she's delivered safely into my arms. I was so naive when I got pregnant. I thought, "Why should I lose weight before the fact if I'm just going to gain weight?" Well, here's why. You won't want to lug 20 extra pounds on top of the thirty pounds you're already overweight. It hurts. It sucks. Your feet will be swollen and look like mattresses by the end of the day. You'll flop around like a beached whale at night trying to fall into a comfortable sleeping position. It's not pretty, and it's not fun. Also, you won't have to go through the humiliation of your doctor telling you that in your eight months of pregnancy, you've gained the amount of weight that she usually likes to see in a full term pregnancy. Meaning? Those 23 lbs I gained were supposed to last until my due date, and those 10 lbs I kept on from the miscarriage didn't help matters. I still have 10 weeks to go, and I think it's childlike to imagine that I won't gain weight when Natalie's growing so quickly.

So, folks, as a measure of accountability and complete humility, I annouce to the world that I am a mere 3 lbs shy of the 200 lb mark. Yes, this is awful. Yes, I feel remorse. And I hope and pray that breastfeeding delivers me from this fate. That, and walking. I guess I could exercise. I hate it so and cannot imagine what it would feel like postpartum, but I digress. Someone said something about doing a sit-up today, and Natalie kicked. It's like she was telling me, "Don't you dare."

And while this blog entry isn't really going anywhere, can I just share another weakness? I am terrible about following through on things. That ranges anywhere from returning a phone call to finishing a craft project or writing things down in a planner. I like to think of myself as a crafty sort of creative person who is completely unorganized. Like, I need to finish the nursery, but I am forever getting distracted by bigger, better projects on the various craft blogs I follow. It's like my mind isn't satisfied until I have a huge pile of scrapbook paper, mod-podge, and ribbon occupying our kitchen table. Oh, and let's not get started on how distracted I become when I'm in the midst of cleaning the house. I am terrified that I'll be on the hoarders show when Natalie comes. Maybe this mind dump is the beginning of the "nesting period" for me. I have to cleanse! Purge! Purge!

I'm waiting for the exhaustion to subside and the urge to clean to show up. With only ten weeks to go, now 9 (EEK!), I am wondering when every surface of my house will shine. It's not like it's dirty now, not even cluttered-- but having it completely spotless for a few days would be amazing. Especially if people are going to be dropping by to see the newest addition.

One thing simply HAS to be done. Cat doors. Installed. I'm tired of our upstairs smelling like poop. I know that it's going to be smelling like poop from a different source for a while, but cat poop is the nastiest thing to ever fall upon the nostril. Baby diarrhea is nothing to cat poop.

Okay, so wanna see those pictures I was so loathe to share with the world?

Okay, I like this one! And Chloe was sooo tiny! I remember focusing on each roll of back chub and getting mad, though. Madness.
Ocean City, NJ with Brandon
Making coleslaw. . . eww at my hands.


I promise a pregnancy post will be on its way soon. I took some belly pictures after my doctor's appointment on Wednesday, and it's really evident that I'm pregnant now! Just a quick blurb because I'm excited-- Natalie is measuring large, so I am being seen back for an ultrasound the week after next to see if my dates were off. Sometimes, when you get pregnant in the cycle immediately after a miscarriage, your dates are thrown off. So I could be further along than I think! I know that sounds bizarre, considering I've had earlier ultrasounds and the dates I provided and the dates of the ultrasound were only off by a few days. That, or she could just be an exceptionally large baby. Haha. Or it could be that I'm simply short-waisted, and she's taking up a lot of room in there. In any event, I'm beyond excited to see her again, this time much more developed than the last time. Between you and me, I don't think my stomach can stretch much further, so an earlier due date would be heavenly.

Anyway, going to log off and get some shut eye. It's snowing in Middle TN again, and that means a perilous journey to work in the morning. :/