mortification: a short story & my 33 week ultrasound and pregnancy update

I read somewhere that forgetfulness was an unattractive side effect of pregnancy. That, and impaired judgment and probably blindness. I don't know.

Anyhow, I work at a pretty conservative place. I'm not going to name it here because I figure the majority of my readers know where I work. The dresscode is also reasonably conservative, though not over the top.

This morning, while getting ready for work, I settled upon a thin white sweater, one of the few things that still stretches over the great wide yonder of my belly. ( I refuse to buy any more maternity clothes. I'm already a candidate for What Not to Wear, so let's just make things a little more obnoxious in the last month so that maybe I could realistically make it on the show. Who cares if my shirts don't cover me?! Also, I'm convinced that I'm going to drop 50 lbs once I have this baby. Don't you dare laugh. I'm going to try. Geez, I could write an entire blog filled with rantings of how I feel like the world's frumpiest, dumpiest pregnant lady.)This sweater, like most sweaters, is one that requires wearing a tank top beneath it. Do you know where this is headed?!


So, I walk into my bedroom tonight. At the foot of the bed is the tank top I had intended to put on under my sweater. It's still folded neatly, the only exception being a sleeping cat on top of it. I wore this sweater the entire day without a tank top. In some lights, this sweater looks tissue-thin. I am 7 weeks away from my due date. You do the math. It probably wasn't pretty and was most likely very tacky. I gave strangers an education of the "maternity/nursing bra".

Anyhow, I can see that I am already having some embarrassing mommy moments already...I don't even want to go into the other woes of pregnancy fashion. I have some of the world's ugliest maternity pants. They are too big (which is a plus?) and always slide down! I'm forever pulling them up. I've learned that wearing a belt with maternity pants is pretty much idiotic because you'll nearly pee all over yourself before you get your pants off to go to the bathroom. Brutal honesty.


Now for what makes all of this worth it--

I had my 33 week appointment on Thursday and got to have another ultrasound because doc thought I was measuring a bit big. It could have been Natalie's position, but it looks like she's just going to be a big baby if she stays in until her due date. She's currently estimated to be about 5.5 lbs, which sounds pretty big to me! My doctor spoke of induction the week before she was due, but I kind of want to hold out and see what happens. I'm convinced that I'm going to have her early, but I want to see how my body reacts. Besides, I kind of want the shock of going into labor naturally. I don't mean to be dramatic, but I've always wondered what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night with a contraction, just "knowing" that you're going to have a baby later. That, or having your water break unexpectedly. It's just kind of exciting to me. I'm sure I won't think so in the middle of any such scenario when I'm simultaneously screaming and timing contractions, but it excites me!

But most of all, I cannot wait to meet the sweet little girl who is alive and well inside of me. I cannot wait to kiss her little lips or see her smile for the very first time. I have always heard these magical things about newborns, and I cannot wait to experience it for the first time with my own. It's difficult to fathom loving someone you've never met or reconciling the kicks and wiggles that you feel inside with a grainy ultrasound picture. I die of happiness every time I look at our newest ultrasound pictures. I cannot believe she's mine. She is so beautiful. I know the features are kind of hard to see, but I see us in her. I see the both of us, and I feel incredibly blessed.






That being said, I gotta go. Hubby needs computer!