Missing her already...

I have such a heavy heart right now. In two weeks, I will be back at work and my routine will be changing. I will be waking up around 5:00 in the morning to be at work by 8:00 and will be getting both myself and my little one ready for the day at either one of her grandmothers' houses. I will probably be rushed and frazzled until I get it nailed down, and I will probably cry the first couple of days until it becomes the "norm".

I'm going to have to let go of what I've called the "norm" for almost three months.

I don't know if Natalie will ever read her mom's blog or if blogs will even be around by the time she can read. Who knows? But I would like for Natalie to know that being her mother has been the greatest honor and privilege I've ever had. Even in this short, small amount of time-- I have grown to love in a way that I did not imagine myself capable. My heart breaks at the idea of leaving her, but I know I'm too stir crazy to do this permanently and that I will be providing for her by going back. She will be in the care of her grandparents who love her very much, and it'll get easier over time.

Tonight, though, I just want to cry because I've had her all to myself for these two months and two weeks. I've seen almost every giggle, smile, and cry. I've given her almost every one of her feedings. etc. I wish I could wear her to work!

Anyhow, I just had to jot it down...blah, blah...got to make some more bottles.