Thursday, February 23, 2012

Long time, no blog! It's seriously been a while. Again. All I can do is assure you just how busy we've been! Brandon's work schedule has gotten busier, and he's still doing night classes and plugging away at his degree. That translates to us being ships passing in the night... and I'm, well... I'm working and being a mommy to Natalie and attempting to maintain our home.

I cannot believe that Natalie's almost a year old. When I close my eyes, I can still envision being big and pregnant. This time last year I was in extreme "nesting mode". I would daydream at work about holding her and smelling her little newborn head. ;) I would mentally rehearse what steps I would take if I went into labor on any given day. I was researching how to naturally induce my own labor, and, each night, I was taking a bubble bath and hoping THAT would trigger labor while I was reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting". I would pull out the cell phone and time my contractions, only to realize they were the pesky Braxton hicks kind and not the real deal.

I remember struggling through the pack and play assembly and being convinced that something had died under our kitchen sink. Hormones! The smell went away as soon as I was back from the hospital. :)

I remember the last night I was at work before maternity leave. I stuck around long enough to change, say my goodbyes for three months, and then I went to see a movie with my then barely pregnant friend, Kelley. Her baby's now almost six months old! Time flies! We watched The King's Speech, and she ate a TON of food because she was still in that very fun stage of pregnancy that dictates that you will absolutely be doing a disservice to your child unless you devour everything in sight.

And, wow, I know it was a while ago, but it's like yesterday to me. I remember the day at the hospital, the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach as I was admitted and shown to our labor and delivery room. It was the best day of my life, and I will never forget it. I got to meet my sweet girl. I was so terrified to hold her that first time, so in awe of her and unsure of myself. I was pretty sure I had never seen anything so beautiful, and I did not feel worthy of her.

But, thank goodness, the nerves have dispelled and my relationship with my daughter has turned into a comfortable ebb and flow. I am not a nervous mother (anymore) , and I am thankful for that. I have learned things over this past year, taken the advice of others, and have settled into my own reasonably normal routine. I worry for her, and I pray for her, but I surrender her care to my heavenly father. He knows the hairs on her head, and for all the bad things in this world, He is good.

I am so thankful for her health and happiness. I have truly never met a happier, more entertaining child. Aren't those the words of a mother? ;)

That being said, I LOVE LOVE LOVE her and cannot wait to celebrate her birthday on the 18th! We're having a fun Minnie Mouse party. I ordered my invitations tonight and am VERY slowly working on her birthday banner. ;) Cannot wait to have the house full of friends and family celebrating our girl. ;)
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